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]]>Halfway through my fourth year out of college, it’s a perfect time for me to reflect on what my experience was like. I’m generally left with one thought; I could have done so much more. Sure I had a great time at Hanover, which in turn led to the perfect job working for our Fraternity. But now being a few months away from obtaining a master’s degree that will hopefully keep me working with college students for some time, I know that my experience could have been much greater. At this point, there’s nothing I can do. Many of you, however, have plenty of time! Working at a university every day has given me a far greater appreciation of the opportunities that college has to offer. I am continually overwhelmed by what I see students accomplish and equally disappointed when I see students, particularly fraternity men, waste their time and money. From what I’ve seen and what I could have done, here are a few suggestions that I have come up with on how you can make the most of your college experience.
Never discount an experience
You have no idea what’s in store for you at any campus event. Some of the best opportunities to expand yourself are waiting in places you would least expect. As fraternity men, we often feel like we have a reputation or image to uphold and are scared to try new things. The most impressive men I have come across are those that have the courage to not care what their brothers think of them. The best recruitment comes from making friends so why aren’t you out there trying to make as many friends as you can? Don’t be confined by the sometimes misguided opinions of your brothers. Rather, get to know as many people and experiences as you can before it’s too late.
There’s always time
So stop making excuses. The old football coach at my undergrad used to say “There are 168 hours in a week. Discounting 8 hours of sleep a night, what are you doing with the other 112?” Think about that for a minute. Never mind the fact that a lot of us probably aren’t getting 8 hours of sleep. We can talk all we want about class or work or fraternity, but chances are we still spend plenty of time watching Sportscenter or playing video games. I was guilty of this as anyone and trust me when I tell you that four years from now, no one is going to care what your killstreak was on Halo. Instead, why not grab a couple of your brothers and head to the organization fair or campus fest or whatever else your school calls it? I guarantee that your campus has something that will interest you. If not, start something. I haven’t met a student affairs professional yet who is going to stand in the way of a student getting involved.
Get to know your professors
These are the people that often know your campus the best. Not only will it make your classes more enjoyable, but these are some of the most interesting men and women with whom you’ll ever get a chance to speak. Regardless of your field of study, these are the experts and have dedicated their lives to making sure you can become an expert too…if you want. Stop by their office hours and chat with them, find out what they did before coming back to teach, ask them what they like to do on the weekend. The more you invest in getting to know them, the more they are going to invest in making sure you succeed.
The point is this, men: Before you know it, graduation is going to come whether you like it or not. What you do in these four years is going to set up the next several years of your life. Don’t waste it. I know I’m not the first person to tell you this and I assure you I won’t be the last. Hopefully, you listen to someone and don’t make the same mistakes I did. Your fraternity experience is great and will certainly provide you with numerous benefits. But there is so much more to the college experience. So put down the remote, get out of the house and make the best of it!
Jon is a second year masters student in the College Student Personnel program at Bowling Green State University. Before this, Jon spent two great years traveling for the Fraternity in the Southeast Region. At Bowling Green, Jon works as a graduate assistant in Fraternity & Sorority Life advising the Interfraternity Council among other things. Jon and his wife, Ellen (a former Delta Zeta consultant), actually live with the men of the Ohio Kappa Chapter of Phi Delta Theta where he additionally serves as the chapter advisor. Jon enjoys all things outdoors and likes to pretend he is a decent golfer from time to time.
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]]>The post There’s a New Greek Advisor in Town appeared first on Phi Delta Theta.
]]>In a lot of cases, the Fraternity/Sorority Advisor (FSA) on campus is an entry level position with a vast array of responsibilities, and is the only professional position that works directly with Greeks on campus. Since this is an entry level position, it shouldn’t be surprising that there’s fairly quick turnaround in these positions. Chapters can experience new people coming in and changing plans, policies, interpretations, and priorities more often than they would prefer. Personally, I had four different Greek Advisors in the span of three years as an undergraduate, so I know the feeling. New FSAs will have new plans, new perspectives, and new approaches to solving issues and generating ideas. As Chapter leaders, it’s important to build a positive, working relationship with the new FSA.
Over the past five years in the Fraternity/Sorority profession, I’ve found that Greek students enjoy new, flashy, and trendy, but can be extremely hesitant, if not resistant, to actual change. You’ve spent countless hours working with one administrator, building that professional relationship, that trust, getting a feel for their general attitudes and opinions. Now, they’ve transitioned out of their role and there’s someone else in their desk chair; someone with new ideas and a completely different personality. Maybe they’re going to be the fun Greek Advisor, maybe they’ll be the hard-liner, maybe they’ll be more of the philosopher and orator, or maybe they’ll be a combination of all the above. The bottom line is that you won’t know until you begin building a working relationship with them. So the question is: How is a Chapter supposed to build rapport with these administrators, learn their expectations, etc. when every year, you seem to start right back at the drawing board? I’d like to share three things that I believe will help you build rapport with new FSA staff members.
Understand the FSA as a Professional
When a new hire joins your community, that FSA may have just graduated from a master’s program, and sometimes they come into their position with a few years of professional experience. Either way, they are still new to the campus environment and the MOST important thing to realize is that they are not your old Greek Advisor. Conversations cannot begin with phrases like ‘Well Luke always let us do this’ or ‘Luke never asked us to turn this in’, etc. The new FSA is a different professional with a fresh set of eyes. Trust in the fact that their new ideas, procedures, and directions are all based in the fact that they want all Chapters to succeed and prosper under their watch. They will want to get to know you as a Greek, as a student, and as a person.
This can be a challenge since many FSA’s walk a very fine line between the advisor and the disciplinarian. Very often in that role, they not only have that advising relationship, but they also are responsible for organizational conduct. They receive the 3am phone calls from campus police and the Vice President’s office the next morning. Around the office, students may tiptoe around words and phrases, almost as if the FSA has an alarm button under their desk that sends an instant red flag at ‘nationals.’ I would argue that if you are following policies and your actions as a chapter align with your values, then there is no reason to tiptoe. The point is, you won’t be able to build that relationship with a new administrator if you are not authentically you. Realize that they did not take the job to get anyone in trouble, but at the same time, they will hold you accountable, so don’t try to slip one past the new professional.
Be willing to hear the word NO
Yes, I said it, and it’s completely possible that during the transition period, you may hear the word no. We have to understand that this is someone who is starting a new job and it takes more than a week or two to learn about the campus culture, policies, etc. They have to make priorities. While they may not actually use those dreaded two letters, they may ask for more time to think, suggest other options, etc.
Nine times out of ten, a student affairs professional is not going to say no, just to say it, or not because they don’t have time to explain fully. Rather, I tend to believe that the vast majority of advisors are going to make an honest effort to “Get you to a YES” (to quote one of my former supervisors). That ‘Yes’ may not look like the yes you wanted, but it is a yes nonetheless. Be flexible during this transition stage and realize the new staff member may not have an answer for you right now or it may not be a priority compared to other looming issues. This doesn’t mean they don’t care. Just ask them when it would be appropriate to follow up or when they will be able to have a decision for you. This flexibility can go a long way when building rapport.
Communicate
Find out how your new FSA prefers to communicate. Are they a phone person? If so, put their office number in your phone. Are they more of an email person? Then make sure you start checking your student email once a day, particularly if you’re the Chapter President. Take advantage of opportunities to introduce members to the new staff member. If you have meals at your Chapter house, invite them over for a dinner and make them feel welcomed. Invite them to speak or do a program at a Chapter or new member meeting. Remember, people decide to work in Student Affairs because of the interactions with students, not because they enjoy roster updates and grade reports. Ask them to help with or attend something outside of their office.
If you begin with these three things, I would venture to say that you’re on your way to building rapport with your new Greek official on campus. At the end of the day, they are there to advise, advocate, and support the Greek community, not to swoop in and close Chapters. If they didn’t believe in the vast potential and positive impact of the fraternity/sorority experience, they wouldn’t be in that role in the first place. Give them the opportunity to lead you and you may be pleasantly surprised where you end up.
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]]>In case you haven’t heard, the United States just finished a pretty significant process. Election time for me always comes with mixed emotions of excitement for potential change or fear of the same. As a university administrator, all of the election coverage also got me to think about the election process for fraternities and sororities across North America. Many of you are electing new executive boards and might be feeling many of the same emotions I described above.
If you are running for, or have recently been elected, president of your chapter, the task before you is likely intimidating, exciting and full of the unknown.
I must preface the following with the realization that I am by no means an expert in fraternity and sorority life. I am well versed and have many experiences in this area, but it is such a dynamic environment that I believe you are the experts because you are living it.
That being said, I often meet with new presidents and I provide the following advice:
Communicate authentically – There are so many different constituent groups a chapter president must communicate with, it can be hard to remember whom you have brought into the loop. If you are practicing what I call authentic communication, it shouldn’t matter. Everyone you are bringing to the table will have the same information. It will require you to be honest with both yourself and your chapter. Authentic communication is not always the easiest course of action but, I guarantee you, it will only help. When the fecal matter hits the oscillating device, the more trust you have developed with your various constituent groups, the easier it will be to work through the challenge before you.
You are now living in the fishbowl – The Phi Delta Theta Chapter at the University of Washington has a large glassed in dining area they call the fishbowl. The sidewalk and street right outside are well travelled with students and community members passing by. The chapter eats there, holds social events there, and often has special meetings in the fishbowl. I have always thought it was great that the public could see into the daily life of a Phi Delt at UW. However, I have also thought about how difficult that might be at times. Everything the chapter does in that room is visible and anyone passing by will draw their own conclusions about what is happening. As a chapter president, you are now living in that fishbowl. Your actions and words are being seen and heard; often by people you are not even aware are watching and listening. You are setting an example for your brothers and broadcasting a message to the rest of your community. Make sure it is the right example. Be certain it is the right message.
Make good choices – I often end meetings with the phrase, “Make good choices.” Outside of the context of sorority and fraternity life, this simple phrase is much more difficult and open to interpretation. As a member of a fraternity or sorority, it is actually very simple. Learn and live the ritual of your organization. Within your ritual are values that are relevant and have withstood the changing times. As Dr. Ed King stated in his classic piece, The Secret Thoughts of Ritual, “Because I am a system of values, I am therefore, an instrument of self evaluation. My values are clear and absolute and yet difficult to emulate. To state a few, I am honor, courage, integrity, fidelity, courtesy and I demand self control as well as ambition and humility. What your Founders did is take the idea of friendship and move it a significant step forward to the concept of commitment.” As a fraternity and sorority advisor, I do not think you are going to be perfect. However, I do expect that you and your chapter members think about the values of your organization and use them to guide your decisions. Imagine how much easier it would be to make decisions as an executive board if you consistently asked the simple question, “How does this align with Friendship, Sound Learning or Rectitude?”
Own it – You must be willing to accept responsibility for the actions of your chapter, both past and present. Noted entrepreneur and author Jim Rohn once said, “You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.” Once you decide it is time to own it, you can begin the process of creating positive change.
Enjoy the ride – Being a chapter president is arguably the most difficult leadership position on a college campus. You are a role model, a counselor, a mentor, an administrator, an advisor and a spokesperson. Expectations for chapter presidents are high, and they should be. However, many chapter presidents get so caught up in being all things to all people that they forget to simply be a sister or a brother. Along with the rest of the responsibilities you have as a chapter president, it is important for you to remember to have fun, take care of yourself and enjoy the ride.
My preference for this blog entry would be for this to be a conversation, and not just me giving advice. Of course, this is not an extensive list of advice for new presidents; I am not sure one could even be compiled. I am interested in hearing from all of you, mainly because your voice is the one that truly matters.
Moe has many years of progressive leadership and success in Greek Affairs. He has traveled the country working for Phi Delta Theta as both a Leadership Consultant and as the Director of Expansion. Moe and his wife, Allison, and their daughter Maya are enjoying the Pacific Northwest where Moe is the Assistant Director of Student Activities at the University of Puget Sound. Moe was the AFLV West’s Greek Advisor of the Year in 2005. Moe has a passion for the outdoors and enjoys rock climbing, cycling and golf. He also never passes up the opportunity to play ultimate frisbee. Previously, Moe served the Fraternity as the Pi North Province President, Awards Committee and Survey Commissioner. Moe is currently serving the Fraternity as the General Council Member-at-Large.
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]]>The post Eight Years and Counting appeared first on Phi Delta Theta.
]]>By Robyn Brock
Eight years. That’s how long I have been working in Greek Life at Florida State. Eight years. Where did the time go? How is it that I am still working with fraternities and sororities? I came to FSU for graduate school after serving my sorority as a Leadership Consultant. Fast forward about two and half years to the time when my now mentor, Dr. Adam Goldstein, asked me to work in Greek Life for six months in an interim capacity. After two weeks of thinking about it, I decided to do it. After all, I could do anything for six months, right?
At the end of the six months, I wasn’t ready to be done with Greek Life. Here I am eight years later and still not ready to be done. In our field, we see professionals changing jobs every few years. We often see professionals burn out of working in fraternity and sorority advising. I have colleagues on campus and in the field who tell me that they would never want my job. Well, I’m glad they don’t want my job because as difficult as it is and as hard as we work, I still love what I do…most days.
I certainly do not have all the answers. I can only share with you some of things I have learned—often the hard way—and hope that they offer some insight. Some of the strategies I use to manage expectations, time and my life are as follows:
Redefine burn out for yourself. As new professionals, we often throw ourselves into our work. We immerse ourselves in meetings, events and committees. Part of this stems from an eagerness to learn and prove our worth as professionals. Part of it is that many of us were leaders and overly involved as undergraduates so we continue the same pattern. While our intentions are generally noble, we often fail to recognize that we are investing too much emotionally and physically. Yes, we should give 100%. Yes, we should work hard. No, we should not work to the point that we cannot be effective. As a new professional, my image of burn out was a bitter, grumpy, ineffective person who had worked too long in the profession. Much to my surprise, I have had to redefine this for myself.
My view of burn out now is me after working too many evening events and meetings while also managing a crisis, departmental demands, and student politics. This is not to say that I function as someone who is burned out; it is to clarify that I believe professionals need to recognize and acknowledge that burn out can be temporary and reversed. I have learned and continue to learn how to recognize what the symptoms are for me as I continue working in this field. When I find myself starting to be short tempered, irritated and not remembering why I do what I do, this is when I know I need some time. Call it comp time or balance time or whatever, just learn to recognize when you need it. Which leads me to my next point…
Take care of yourself. This generally means something different for everyone. For me, this means that I spend time with family and friends and also take some alone time. I also love reading, baking, red wine, and shopping. When I can combine any of these with friends and family, then I feel like I hit the jackpot. We often spend so much time investing in others that we forget to invest in ourselves. I try to do something every day to take care of myself. It certainly does not always happen, but I do have a greater awareness of this need.
I also have to own that in our field this is not always possible. As the Panhellenic Recruitment Advisor this past year, I can tell you with certainty that at least during the week of recruitment, I did not take care of myself as well as I could have. I stayed at the hotel most of the week with our recruitment staff and slept nowhere near enough. For me, I knew going into recruitment that I would not have as much time for myself so I made sure I took time for me after recruitment. I do my best to make this a priority before and after work intensive times like Panhellenic recruitment. While I do not always make this happen, I have learned that I need to do this to be effective in my work.
Don’t let your job define your life. Seriously. You are more than the work you do. So am I. Each person is a community member, family member, friend, colleague, and so much more. It is important to have identities outside of your job. Be intentional about cultivating your involvement outside the office.
The reality of our work is that we could be in the office 24 hours a day, 7 days week and there would still be work to do. I think it our responsibility to help students maintain proper perspectives. How many times do we see students needing to meet with us because there is a crisis? Only to learn, when we move our schedules around to meet with them, that the crisis is they can’t find a venue for the chapter philanthropy. If you are nodding in agreement now, then let me ask you: how do you maintain your perspective?
Inevitably, professionals in fraternity and sorority advising will work with students through some type of crisis. I can list a number of crises I have worked with from student deaths to sexual assault allegations to charter suspensions. I believe that if I allowed my job to define me that I would not be able to work through these issues within Greek Life with proper perspective. If your job alone defines who you are, so can the student successes and failures. We cannot be defined as professionals based on the student experience.
As I write this, I think about what I have learned and the people who have impacted my life. I have thought about moments in my career that I will always keep with me—good and bad. At the end of the day, I have found a profession where I continue to grow and learn while working with students, staff, faculty, advisors, headquarters staff and a variety of other constituents to enhance the fraternity experience. As I continue to attempt to take care of myself while not burning out, I will do my best to remember why I do what I do: I believe in the positive potential of the fraternity/sorority experience.

Robyn Brock earned her Bachelor’s degree in Communication from the University of Tennessee and her Master’s degree in Higher Education from Florida State University. She has obviously worked at Florida State for a combined eight years as the Assistant Director and now the Assistant Dean/Director of Greek Life. In her volunteer life, Robyn serves as the Assistant Executive Director for the Southeaster Panhellenic Association and on the Kappa Kappa Gamma NPC delegation. Robyn loves spending time with her husband and their four-year old son, Jackson. She also enjoys drinking red wine, doing a little shopping, traveling with family and friends, and reading a good book.
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]]>The post Want to Fix a Hazing Problem in Your Chapter? Start by Fixing Your Brotherhood Problem appeared first on Phi Delta Theta.
]]>Hello members, friends, and fans of Phi Delta Theta. In honor of National Hazing Prevention Week, my colleague, Josh, and I want to talk about brotherhood, but first, you need some background. About this time last year, I reached the halfway point of my doctoral dissertation. I was studying the impact of moral judgment and moral disengagement on hazing attitudes, and I was putting the finishing touches on the third chapter and preparing for my proposal defense. My study, in a nutshell, was investigating the environmental variables that support a pro-hazing culture. As I sat and thought about my study, I came to ask myself the question “What matters?” Several fraternities have shaken things up in the last few years and significantly changed the environment in which hazing occurs. Phi Delta Theta has the “Don’t Tarnish the Badge” campaign. Sig Ep has the “Balanced Man Program. “Beta Theta Pi has the “Men of Principle Initiative.” Alpha Gamma Rho and Zeta Beta Tau got rid of pledging altogether. As I sat and pondered these changes, I asked myself “If we wanted to know if any of these changes have had any impact, what would I even measure? It’s hard to measure hazing, so what do we measure? What would we expect the impact of these changes to be?” As I sat and thought, rolling around different possibilities in my head, I kept coming back to the same idea – brotherhood.
What is brotherhood? How do students define it? Are there different kinds of brotherhood? How do you measure it? I pondered these questions and more for several days, and I decided that the best way to get an answer to my question was to ask students. So, I sent out an email to my fraternity member listserv and asked for a few volunteers to come meet with me to talk about brotherhood. On the day of the meeting, a dozen or so guys showed up, and I asked a simple question: “What is brotherhood?” I sat and listened, scribbling notes furiously trying to keep up with the conversation, as the young men bounced the question back and forth. Several themes emerged from that conversation, but when I coded my notes, the students discussed four separate and distinct definitions of brotherhood. They were:
At this point, my head was spinning. Four completely different themes, sometimes used in combination with one another, sometimes not, had emerged from that initial conversation. My next step was to try to make sense of all this new information, so I called up the one person who I consider to have the ultimate combination of fraternity and nerdy quantitative research skills – Josh Schutts. Josh, I’ll let you jump in here and help us make sense of all this.
Admittedly, I came into the fold in many conversations with Gentry about his work with hazing and moral judgment. He mentioned brotherhood and I was immediately hooked. I presume that for many of you, brotherhood is the reason you joined your chapter, and is likely the reason you are still affiliated. My background is in business, so I tend to view our fraternity chapters much like “mini businesses.” In saying that: fraternities don’t have a profit-motive, we have a brotherhood motive. If Apple or Microsoft is for-profit, then Phi Delta Theta is for-Brotherhood.
Conceptually, brotherhood is the currency of fraternity. It is sold to potential members, traded between brothers and alumni, and deposited within our thoughts and memories for all time. As an alumnus of my organization, I recall those memories from time to time – the things we did as friends and brothers. The trouble we got in, the relationships we made, the times we laughed, and the times where we were there for each other. Perhaps a brother could be thought of as “more than a friend, but no less than someone you love.” I heard a wise past national president of Sigma Alpha Epsilon say that once (Jim Pope, Southern Mississippi).
Theoretically, the research is frankly scant in relation to brotherhood. It’s kind of funny that something that means so much to so many is largely unstudied, undocumented, and unanalyzed. I mentioned earlier about brotherhood as a currency. If you buy that, then when we trade or sell it, we are completing a transaction – let’s call it a social transaction, or maybe even a social exchange. Near as I can tell, the best theoretical framework that exists comes from Blau & Scott (1962) who coined “social exchange theory” and talked about mutual benefit associations. I think of fraternities as mutual-benefit associations, so I think there is some wisdom to be found there. Further, Clawson (1989) talks about masculine solidarity and touched on loyalty through race, social class, and gender.
With this theoretical framework in mind, we sat out to devise a way to measure brotherhood. A list of questions was developed that corresponded with each of the four definitions of brotherhood, with a five-point “agree/disagree” scale. We constructed some initial testing on the instrument, determined that it was good, and set to work. We had to put a name to each of the four types, based on the definitions from the focus group and the questions in the instrument, and here is what we came up with (numbers corresponding to the definitions that Gentry described above):
We measured brotherhood with our instrument, and we also asked students about their alcohol use, attitudes towards hazing, attitudes about the purpose of the new member process, questions about the importance of social status in their chapter, and a scale that measured their moral development.
What we found amazed us.
Student’s scores on BROGM had strong and significant correlations with pro-hazing attitude. Those correlations became weaker as they moved up the scale, and a high score on BROASV had a negative correlation with hazing attitude. The way students defined brotherhood was predictive of the way they perceived hazing and the amount of hazing they stated they would tolerate in their chapter.
We also measured students’ perceptions of the purpose of the new member process (with statements like ‘the pledging process is an opportunity to weed out weak new members’ and ‘it is important that pledges demonstrate their loyalty to the fraternity before they are initiated’) and had similar findings. Students that measured highest on BROGM were much more likely to have an antiquated view of the purposes of the new member process, and again, the relationships became weaker as they moved up the scale. BROASV was negatively correlated with the scale measuring the perception of the purposes of the new member process.
So, conceptually we have many ideas about what brotherhood is. Most of what we know so far is anecdotal, qualitative and contextual. We tell stories to others, and somehow in our mind, we understand what brotherhood means. . . what it means to us anyways. But does it stop there? What if brotherhood means different things to different people? How can we merge what it might mean to you with someone else’s concept? Wouldn’t it be easier to ‘sell’ that to an interested prospective member? We think you can. And we think that if we could quantitatively measure it, or at least most of it, then we would have a common language to talk to our brothers about.
When we begin to understand what brotherhood is, we can then take the leap to see how it manifests and changes. We first begin by understanding its nature. What it is comprised of, and equally, what is it not comprised of. We think about where it comes from, and we think about the best way we measure it. Next, we begin to see it as the ‘cause’ and search for the symptoms or effects it has on people, chapters, institutions, and communities. We measure it over time, and we see if differences exist between race, or age, or number of years as a member of a fraternity. We see these symptoms as antecedents, and we ask questions about what aspects of brotherhood correlate to that are both positive and negative. We look at hope, and commitment, and unethical behavior, and citizenship behavior, and engagement, and moral judgment, organizational learning, and a host of other things that are related to things that occur in our chapters every day.
What good is all of this? Well, for starters, we could diagnose issues in chapters. We could get to the cause, and quit treating the symptoms. We could leave our campuses better than we found them. We could make a difference in someone’s life. We could be more relevant tomorrow than we were yesterday. In sum: We could become the greatest version of ourselves, and help our Chapters achieve a new level of greatness as well.
Gentry McCreary is the Associate Dean of Students at the University of West Florida in Pensacola, FL. He served four years as the Director of Greek Affairs at the University of Alabama, and two years as Director of Greek Life at Middle Tennessee State University. He is a member of Alpha Gamma Rho fraternity from the University of Tennessee. He completed a master’s degree in Higher Education and Student Affairs from the University of South Carolina, and a Ph.D. in Higher Education Administration from the University of Alabama. His research interests include moral development and the social-psychological causes of hazing. Gentry is an avid outdoorsman who enjoys backpacking, canoeing, golf, fishing and upland bird hunting with his German Shorthaired Pointer, Ellie.
Joshua Schutts is the Assistant Dean of Students at The University of Southern Mississippi and a 2000 initiate of the Delta Mu chapter of Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity. He has a B.S.B.A. in Marketing and a M.Ed in Student Affairs Administration from the University of Southern Mississippi. He is currently pursuing a Ph.D in Research, Evaluation, Statistics, and Assessment at the University of Southern Mississippi. He enjoys playing golf and fantasy football. Josh and his dog Roosevelt live in Hattiesburg, MS.
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]]>In his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen Covey states, “By centering our lives on timeless, unchanging principles, we create a fundamental paradigm of effective living.” I am not sure if Stephen Covey is a fraternity man, but I know for sure that this statement exemplifies exactly what is meant when people in the fraternal world say that you need to live your Ritual. As members of fraternities and sororities we have committed ourselves to organizations that were founded upon timeless, unchanging principles and because of the oath that every one of us took when we became members of our organizations, it is our responsibility to live those values all the time, every day.
Before I move forward with sharing some specific ideas of what living your Ritual looks like, let’s first make sure that we are on the same page about the definition of Ritual. I am sure, for the majority of you who are reading this blog, the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear ‘Ritual’ is some sort of ceremony from your chapter – maybe it’s your formal chapter meeting or maybe it’s your initiation. You are probably also thinking, our Ritual is secret, so how am I supposed to live that every day? Well I am not asking you to put on your robe, sing your songs, or re-enact your ceremonies on a daily basis. What I am asking you to do is to think about the meaning of your organization and what those ceremonies teach you about what it means to be the greatest version of yourself. Think about the words you recited in your oath when you committed yourself to your fraternity for the rest of your life. Think about the three Cardinal Principles of Phi Delta Theta: Friendship, Sound Learning, and Rectitude. Speaker Mari Ann Callais defines it best, Ritual = Values = You!
So now that you understand that living your Ritual means living your organization’s values that you committed to, let’s reflect on what that looks like. My good friend and colleague Scott and I have presented several times to students and professionals about this idea of living your Ritual and what it looks like. We have boiled this idea down to four key categories: knowledge, education, execution, and accountability.
Knowledge. Our Ritual is the one thing that makes our fraternal organizations different from any other organizations on campus and the values and lessons that our own Rituals teach us make our own fraternity or sorority unique from others. It is important for chapters to recognize the importance of learning about your Ritual and making the Ritual readily accessible to all of the members. Members need to embrace the mentality of learning about their Ritual not because they have to but because they want to. Again, I am not referring to just memorizing the lines, the oath, or learning the handshake. I am talking about facilitating discussions and reflections around what that Ritual teaches us about how we live. It is each of our individual responsibilities to make sure that we really know and understand what our Ritual is teaching us. If the fancy words used in your ceremonies confuse you, take some time to dissect that Ritual and interpret what it means today. Re-writing your oath into your own words will help you to gain a deeper perspective and appreciation for the commitment you have made. The very basics of being able to live your Ritual starts with your knowledge and understanding of what it is you are supposed to be living. So if you aren’t familiar with what your Ritual is telling you about your organization, the first step is to take some time to really read it and reflect on it. If you need help comprehending what your Ritual is telling you, your advisors and International staff members are a great resource to reach out to for clarification and understanding.
Education. Once you gain the knowledge of your Ritual, the next step is to make sure that your chapter is teaching the values of your Ritual to all of your members. Chapters who struggle in this category are unable to teach the values and principles of their organization, lack Ritual training, and have little to no follow-up after Ritual ceremonies are conducted. Many organizations have a post-initiation education session with their new members, but what are you doing to continue to educate all of your members about your Ritual? Why not spend 5 minutes at each chapter meeting picking a different part of your Ritual to review and evaluate as a chapter how individual members and the chapter as a whole is actually living that part of the Ritual? Take a separate line of your oath each week and as a chapter discuss it’s meaning and specific examples of how it can be lived. Remember, it’s not just up to our new initiates to understand this, but every member, so let’s be sure we are educating all of our members on an ongoing basis. Chapters who focus on education consistently train, educate, and discuss Ritual in various settings. Members feel comfortable discussing Ritual and a good deal of time is spent reflecting on what Ritual means to the chapter.
Execution. Once you have gained the knowledge and educated your chapter about your Ritual, it’s up to you and all of your members to live and/or execute the values of your Ritual. You have to “walk the walk” and put values into action. The key thing to understand about execution is that you cannot pick and choose when you want to live those values, they must become such a part of your daily routine that you don’t even have to think twice about them. They need to be just as evident on a Friday or Saturday night as they are on a Tuesday afternoon when you are in class. Think back to those three Cardinal Principles and how they can each be incorporated into your daily actions. Demonstrate your friendship by being there for your brothers when they need your help, and putting them before yourself. Dedicate yourself to sound learning, get out of bed and go to class, participate when you are there, and go up and speak to your professor afterwards. Sound learning isn’t just about getting good grades but it is staying open to new experiences and opportunities that will help you to continue to grow into that greater version of yourself, and that doesn’t end when you leave college. When making decisions about how to spend your time and money, both as an individual and as a chapter, let your moral rectitude guide those decisions. Execution is where the rubber meets the road; our Rituals are not just pretty words on papers, but a call to action and a guide for how we should be living our lives every day.
Accountability. Perhaps one of the most important aspects of living our Ritual, but often the most neglected, is accountability. I get so frustrated when I meet with chapter presidents and they tell me that there is nothing they can do about members in their chapter who are not paying dues, getting good grades, or whose behavior is destructive to the organization. “I am not their dad,” they say. Correct, they are not their dads, but they are the president of the organization and each of their members took an oath to uphold the values of their organization. It is up to the leaders, and really all members, to make sure that we are all holding each other accountable for doing what we say we will do when we join our organization. Recognizing members who are living out your values on a regular basis can reinforce accountability among your members. Each week as you review a line of your oath and discuss examples of what it looks like in practice, take time to recognize members who have demonstrated those values through their actions. This will help positively reinforce the idea of living your Ritual and help other members see how they can do that in their own lives. Additionally, when you see members behaving in ways that are inconsistent your values, you must call them out. Have a conversation; remind them of the commitment they made, help them understand the negative impact it is having on the chapter. So often we get caught up in the rules and policies and only holding members accountable for those. Don’t get me wrong, those are important, but remember: our Ritual is the blueprint for the success of our chapter and its members, so let’s start incorporating that into standards meetings and conversations.
At the end of the day it’s important to remember that we made a lifetime commitment to living our Ritual when we were initiated and that doesn’t end when we graduate from college. As a Phi Delt, friendship, sound learning, and rectitude should always be the principles that serve as your paradigm for effective living. Our Ritual is not just words on paper to be memorized or recited once or twice a year. If we are really members of our organization we have to put those timeless and unchanging principles at the center of our life every day.
One of my favorite quotes is “when all is said and done, did you say more or do more?” The future of your fraternity and our Inter-fraternal community depends on your ability and willingness to DO more. It is time for us to stop just saying we stand for these values and actually demonstrating them through our actions every day. Let’s start living our Ritual!
Rachel Westra Marsh currently serves as the Director of Greek Life at the College of Charleston, previous to that she served their community as the Assistant Director of Greek Life for two years. She is originally from Virginia, where she completed her undergraduate studies at Virginia Tech. She spent two years working as a National Consultant for Chi Omega Fraternity before she returned to school to pursue a Master’s Degree in Higher Education and Student Affairs at the University of South Carolina. While pursuing her master’s degree, she served as the graduate assistant for Greek Life as well as Assistant to the Associate Vice President for Student Affairs. Rachel has experience working with NASPA’s Knowledge Community for Sorority/Fraternity Affairs and has given presentations and facilitated at a number of fraternity and sorority conferences. She also serves as a volunteer for Alpha Chi Omega, Beta Theta Pi, Chi Omega, and Sigma Alpha Epsilon.
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]]>When I tell people I’m a fraternity and sorority advisor, I receive several reactions. Whether that’s a look of shock and horror or comments like, “That’s a full time job?” I’ve pretty much heard it all. My least favorite response is, “So you help fraternities plan parties?” I respond simply with,
“No, I don’t have time for that.”
In 2006 I was a senior at the University of Illinois attempting to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I loved being a history and anthropology major and thought a museum might be the place for me. However, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that I needed to do something that would make a difference in the world. Cue the entrance of my Greek advisors. I remember sitting with them, asking why fraternity and sorority members say they believe in something when our actions are far different. And they simply said, “Have you thought about advising?” My world changed, and I never looked back.
I didn’t become an advisor because Greek Week was awesome or because my sorority made cool shirts or because I wanted to help fraternities plan parties. I don’t have time for that. I became a fraternity and sorority advisor because we have work to do. A lot of it.
Fast forward five years, and you’ll find me at the University of Oregon where I have the privilege of working with a community that is willing to think. There are a couple key parts to this statement. First, my job is a privilege. I get to spend my days supporting and challenging students in their growth, and I’m lucky enough for those students to be members of an experience I deeply believe in. Second, the ability to think is crucial and often seems rare to locate. In lower levels of the college environments, students are taught to memorize facts. Hopefully by junior and senior year students have moved into the realm of contemplating and engaging their coursework. Often this is leading to shifts in beliefs or attitudes. The ability to think, ponder, wonder, dive deep into possibilities – that is what we often lack in the fraternity and sorority world. In so many unfortunate ways, our membership has taught us to respect tradition so highly that we’ve lost our ability to question it.
Now this is why I am a fraternity and sorority advisor! I have endless amounts of time to work with students, collegiate chapters, inter/national organizations, alumni and colleagues across the country who are ready and willing to engage in critical thinking about the fraternal experience. I would venture to guess most fraternity and sorority advisors feel this way. Survey advisors across the country about their daily activities. What you’ll find is most spend their time acting like emergency room doctors. Major injuries come in, the doctor stops the bleeding, fixes as much as possible and moves on to the next patient. The problem is that no one goes to the emergency room because they’re healthy. So if the majority of an advisor’s time is consumed in the emergency room, they are rarely able to leave the hospital and encourage people to stay healthy. What I’m saying is that if the dysfunction in our fraternity and sorority communities takes nearly all of an advisor’s time to deal with, there’s nothing preventing the high performing chapters from falling among the rest. We need to spend more time among the healthy encouraging them to prosper than fixing the wounds of chapters that live high risk lifestyles. We simply don’t have the time for that.
Earlier I said I became an advisor because we have work to do. So let’s get working! As undergraduates, alumni, headquarters staff and campus-based professionals, it’s time for us to start asking some tough questions. What do we want this experience to be? What purpose can we serve? How can we change the world? It’s not always about how we were founded – it’s hard to make a personal connection to our founders when some of them lived over 200 years ago. It’s about exploring what fraternity could be in light of tomorrow’s student. Easier said than done, and I don’t have a solution. What I do know though, is we have an opportunity to engage undergraduates in a critical conversation about what they’re experiencing. I don’t think we give enough credit to the abilities and brilliance of today’s student to move mountains when given the chance. We also have the opportunity to engage an incredibly optimistic population in the world of possibility. What if fraternities and sororities could ____? Let’s let our undergraduates fill in the blank and then help them realize the potential. It’s time to “live with a healthy disregard for the impossible.”
We don’t have time to talk about parties anymore. And we certainly don’t have time to “do things as they’ve always been done.” But we have endless amounts of time to create something new and like a phoenix, to rise from the ashes a reborn and meaningful experience. I became a fraternity and sorority advisor to engage in the conversation, so let’s do work!
Annie Carlson serves as the Fraternity and Sorority Advisor at the University of Oregon. A 2007 graduate of the University of Illinois, Annie went on to receive her master’s degree in higher education from Florida State University in 2009. Annie volunteers for the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors, Oregon Women in Higher Education, the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators and Beta Theta Pi Fraternity. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with friends, traveling (A LOT!) and hunting down the perfect glass of red wine.
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]]>Just Say No! Many of us are adept at saying no to bad things. However, we are living in an over committed and over programmed world in which the new campaign spread throughout colleges should be, “Just Say No…to good opportunities.”
I’ve discovered that one can’t do everything all the time. In fact, there is only 100% of you a day and despite what your coach, parent, or teacher may have told you when you were little, you can’t give 110% of yourself to anything. It is mathematically impossible. There is only one whole you and you are often being pulled in multiple directions. Therefore, as you engage in activities throughout the day that 100% of you dwindles. 20% of yourself to this class, 30% of yourself to this committee, 10% of yourself to your friends, 20% to another leadership position, 10% of yourself to the gym, and before you know it there is 10% of you left for things that you need at least 60% of yourself to accomplish. This is when stress happens and this is when you experience burnout. You are doing too much.
I get it, you care and you want to do many different things. As an advisor you are my favorite student and my biggest headache. You’ve been told your whole life that you are a leader and therefore you have a strong desire to “lead” things. People come to you and ask for your support, tap you for leadership positions and recommend you for seats on boards. Your friends know that they can always depend on you to step up and get things done and you feel an obligation to satisfy all expectations. You’ve even convinced yourself that you work best when you are under pressure and stressed out.
But, what always ends up happening? Something doesn’t get done. Even if it does get done it isn’t your best work. You inevitably will double or triple book yourself. You get tired but don’t have time for rejuvenation. Your friends want to do something fun but you’ve got so much work to do that you can’t even fathom heading out on the town for a good time and even when you do take that chance you are thinking about the consequences of having fun. You neglect to take care of yourself and so you become ill which greatly affects your level of performance. You pull all- nighters to cram for a test or finish a paper. You yearn for a vacation and complain to those around you about how busy you are all the time. Sound familiar?
I was you. I’m not going to lie, at 28 I’m sometimes still you. I vividly remember one of my mentors in college encouraging a group of student leaders, including myself, to seriously reflect on all that we were involved in on campus. Make a list and go through each activity. While you are examining this list think about those things that you really value–your passions. Also, think about those activities in which you are learning the most, and ultimately think about those activities that are actually helping you become the person you want to be–your ideal self. For those things that don’t make it into these categories you need to let them go.
I decided to follow her instructions and in the process I gave up one of my jobs, and three extracurricular activities. I crossed them off the list, sent in my resignations, and honestly never looked back. I kept the things that fit into the categories above and I have to tell you a weight was instantly lifted off my shoulders.
Even now, I have to sit down and think about things prior to making a commitment and I’ve had to walk away from things that are great professional and personal opportunities. I’m not going to lie—I still don’t enjoy this process, but I know that in the end I’m making the best decision for myself and the rest of the organization.
College students engage in résumé building in a way that has become quite reckless. It is not only hurting you and adding stress to your life but it is adding stress to those that are depending on you to prioritize that commitment. All of your commitments can’t possibly be number one; something is bound to fall by the wayside. If I could get students to understand that the quality of your involvement and your articulation of that quality is much more important than the quantity of things you are involved with, then I think I would be eligible for retirement simply on merit alone.
Be okay with the fact that you aren’t a superhero. Sometimes you actually can’t do it all and most of the time you can’t do it all extremely well. I have learned that people appreciate it when you are honest about your disinterest or inability to prioritize that particular commitment and when you take initiative to step down from a role instead of prolonging your subpar involvement.
Take time to engage in intentional reflection about your commitments. Think about those things that you love to do versus those things that have become a burden. The next time someone asks you to do something, instead of saying “Yes” immediately, think about responding with, “Let me get back to you on that. Sounds like a great opportunity but I just want to make sure I have time to commit and give it my best effort.” Stop filling out applications just because you were sent an email with a link. Do you really care about that project? Are there things that you want out of that experience that you are already getting from existing opportunities?
If you are struggling with this exercise chat with those that advise you in your roles. Are they seeing strain on your involvement? Have there been moments where they have felt you didn’t prioritize that specific role? How has that affected others in the organization?
Be honest with yourself. Believe me; not being an officer in that one organization isn’t going to be the detriment of your life post college.
Involvement in co-curricular activities is never going to be the reason that you get your college diploma and in fact, though Phi Delta Theta is a worthwhile fraternal organization I don’t believe it has been granted the privilege of disseminating college degrees. Remember, that in the term “student leader” student comes first. What you chose to involve yourself with after that word is completely up to you, but I strongly encourage you to be discerning about where you expend your daily 100%. Yes and no are two incredibly powerful words; please learn to use them wisely.
Krystal Clark, M.Ed. is a native of Portsmouth, Virginia and received her BA in Sociology and Psychology from The College of William & Mary in Williamsburg, VA. After graduation she ventured to College Park, MD where she completed her M.Ed. in College Student Personnel at the University of Maryland, College Park. During her time at Maryland Krystal served as a Student Affairs Residential Fellow in the Office of Fraternity & Sorority Life and continued her work in this functional area post-graduation at Duke University in Durham, NC where she served in the role of Program Coordinator. In February 2010 she became a proud member of Delta Delta Delta and in June 2011 she began as the Associate Director of Greek Life at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN. She is an active volunteer in the Association for Fraternity/Sorority Advisors, the Junior League of Nashville, and Big Brothers Big Sisters of Middle Tennessee.
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]]>Throughout the week of November 14-18, we will be reading from a variety of authors for our inaugural Campus Administrator Week blog series. Much like our local volunteers, these professionals are ‘in the trenches’ with our undergraduate members every day. Their experience, wisdom, and passion for Fraternity/Sorority members are all important contributions that can easily be taken for granted, and they are seldom recognized for all they do. Therefore, Phi Delta Theta will be honoring our campus partners all this week and providing them with an opportunity to tell their story as well as giving them an open mic to offer their insight to our readers. We are excited to present posts from new/mid-level professionals, seasoned veterans, fellow Phis, as well as former campus administrators. We hope you enjoy all there is to learn from these partners of the Fraternity.
To begin the Campus Administrator Week blog series, I’d like to share my perspective as a former Fraternity/Sorority Advisor at a University. Back in April of this year, the “Fraternal Thoughts” blog posted a second piece in a mini-series titled ‘Greetings from Behind the Podium.’ This was a follow-up to the ‘Greetings from Back Row’ article posted earlier. These two pieces provided the perspectives of both Chapter leaders and the estranged member. After reading these, I thought it would be interesting to complete the series with a post from the viewpoint of the Campus Advisor. Although I am no longer a campus-based administrator, I empathize with these amazing professionals, and hopefully this post will provide insight into the life of a Greek Advisor.
Greetings from the Fraternity and Sorority Life Office,
I am the Fraternity and Sorority Advisor on campus. I have chosen to make Greek Life a professional endeavor, and to guide a campus Greek community towards success.
As an undergraduate, I was a very involved member. I held positions within my Chapter as well as numerous governing organizations and honor societies on campus. I spent more time working on student organization business than I did on my homework and often missed class for meetings.
I am the only professional on campus that specifically works with Greeks. I advise all three governing councils, honor societies, and all active chapters, in addition to other staff responsibilities and university committees. Any time something happens on campus that involves at least one Greek, my phone rings off the hook. I’ve even received a phone call at 7am on a Sunday morning because there was a car illegally parked on campus, and University police thought I might know who it is.
My desk is always covered with event registrations, roster updates and a plethora of other paperwork. My office walls are covered in Greek paraphernalia, chapter composites, certificates and conference nametags. I have several chairs and benches outside my office because there is always a line of students waiting for help.
While in meetings with other faculty and staff, negative comments and stereotypical assumptions about fraternities and sororities offend me as much as they bother you. Anytime a single member is suspected of less than favorable actions, I immediately get the phone calls and emails, regardless of what time it is. I’m actually on-call 24/7. Truth be told, I’m as accountable for your actions as you are. Have you ever thought about that?
I do not have a personal life. I work from 9am until 11 or 12 at night, Monday through Friday, and attend events, programs, trainings, and conferences on the weekends. The vast majority of my local friends all work at my University. I am married to the job with almost a thousand children, most which require more babysitting than advising. It seems that ¾ of my job is spent putting out fires and dealing with failing chapters, when I should be encouraging and challenging successful chapters to be even better. I keep a pillow, sleeping bag, and a change of clothes in my office during sorority recruitment for the rare chance of an hour of sleep after bid matching.
Professional and student conferences end up being my vacations, and I spend the summer volunteering as a facilitator for LeaderShape and the Undergraduate Interfraternity Institute.
Contrary to popular belief, I am actually a student and chapter advocate. I do my best to create new and exciting opportunities for Greeks, while also having regard for tradition and consistency. Unfortunately, sometimes I have to be disciplinarian and maybe even close a chapter. Even though it was the actions of the members that stripped the house of its letters, it’s still viewed as my fault. I am the fun killer, the party police, and apparently I am in the business of closing chapters, even though that would eventually put me out of a job. The truth is I know that the chapter is closing because of its own actions; however, it still breaks my heart. There are few things in this line of work that are more depressing and heart-wrenching than suspending a chapter. However, since it is my name on the bottom of the letter, I am the one responsible, not the members that chose to ignore the values and Ritual of their organization and created the situation in the first place…
The truth is: the long nights, lack of sleep, and relatively high-stress environment is worth it. It’s worth it because of what I believe. I believe that the fraternity and sorority experience provides undergraduates with the opportunity to pledge themselves to a higher purpose that will make men better men and women better women. I believe that by committing ourselves to a set of values and principles, we create an experience that will empower and inspire our members throughout college life and beyond. Through living out our oaths to each other, we devote our lives to the service and assistance of others, not because someone told us to, but because we have the ability and responsibility to do so. I believe in the lifelong connections we make with our members, and I would not trade my own Greek experience for anything in the world.
Next time you think your Greek Advisor is out to get you, take a closer look and realize that we would not be doing this job unless we believe in you and your organization. To see you and your chapter succeed is why we do what we do. Never forget that.
As the Director of Education, Brother Luke Benfield is the newest addition to the General Headquarters team. Luke is a member from the Georgia Gamma Chapter at Mercer University. He has a bachelor’s degree in English literature and economics, as well as a master’s degree in educational leadership. Before coming to GHQ, Luke was the Fraternity and Sorority Life Advisor at Coastal Carolina University, as well as the IFC advisor at Florida Gulf Coast University in graduate school.
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]]>We often think of hazing as a secret act that is violent or embarrassing; including some forms of ridiculous buffoonery, or malicious acts of “taking wood” or physical activity. We often think of hazing as a behavior of young immature men and women that becomes commentary of lore during reunion weekends with former classmates. And, we often think of hazing as a time-specific act with no consequences. For many of us, these descriptions have served as rites of passage that too many of our students involved in fraternities and sororities are experiencing. These hazing experiences, which for some have replaced our membership rites, have been used to transition our new members into our society; often have been violent and oppressive and have distorted the goals of fraternal organizations. They have distorted the purpose of our membership processes.
Our pledge activities or new member programs are significant rites of passage that honor the traditions of our founders. Rites of passage are a sequence of events that enable individuals to proceed through stages that ultimately end with predetermined outcomes. Rites of passage connect individuals to organizations, or they can serve to connect individuals to communities. Rites of passage are ritualistic and mark significant events in our lives and are celebrated as we mark our entry into our communities. “Without rituals, there would be nothing to mark this cultural change in status as extraordinary” (Manning 2000, p. 30); and in the context of sorority and fraternity life, rituals are an important processes to mark the entrance into and the end of the experience of our distinctive practices. Rites of passage mark entrances into social roles that have significant meaning to a community. They are elaborate, dramatic, and planned sets of activities that consolidate various forms of cultural expressions into one event, which is carried out through our many interactions. Rites of passage activities that mark the entry into our fraternal communities are excellent venues to transmit our organizational cultures and unique histories. However, what we have seen is practices that mark entry into our organizations marred by hazing rituals that themselves have become the norm, a required rite of passage. Our organizational pledge or new member programs are rites of passage that attribute to members understanding and committing to the ideals of their organization. Additionally, many of our members have found meaning in the rites’ rituals and cultural underpinnings. As a process, membership activities serve as a means to indoctrinate our aspirants/new members seeking initiation into our societies. The underlying objectives and outcomes of our rites of passage serve to connect men and women to the values and practices of the organization. This is important to note because rites are valuable and are significant to the future of our organizations, however, far too many of our members are incorporating hazing practices into our organization’s rites of passage.
Hazing rituals can be violent and exploitive. Many college campuses suggest that hazing rituals, though banned publicly by national organizations and illegal in most states, remains a practice that men and women voluntarily engage in when seeking membership in our chapters. From a certain point of view, hazing is a practice of habit, adherence to tradition, and power and oppression. Freire (2000) argues that oppression is learned, transmitted, and replicated. He also notes that at some point in the course of human interactions, we all assume the role of the oppressor. Exposed hazing rituals indicate that participants are bound in the struggle between power and control. Our members often use our rites of passage as a means to secure and maintain power that allows them to maintain control of our chapters. These members believe that hazing rites are a necessary tool to maintain chapter traditions and customs, and to develop organizational pride and respect. Far too often, these members are the most vocal in our chapters and resist change and evolution. These members view hazing as a rite of passage and believe that it is necessary in order to maintain the system. These members are oppressors and will not easily give up power to change the chapter’s culture.
Eliminating hazing rituals in our rite of passage will be NECESSARY if we want to reclaim our traditions and power from those who would distort the core of our fraternal identities. We must empower each member to take a stand against oppressive hazing acts. Taking a stand for rites of passage experiences that are free from hazing practices will take courage, but it is possible. First, chapters need to recommit to their founding values and find meaning in the rituals, customs and traditions of our founders. The founders are long gone, but their words, work, and passion lives in each chapter that has come after them. Tim Marchel discusses this well that “as human-beings, we have a fundamental need to belong to groups, clubs; to affiliate with those who share our values and beliefs.” We need to embrace our members who seek to not be bystanders and desire meaningful change. Second, we need to GET REAL and have conversations with members about their need to harm, intimidate and oppress their follow brothers. Getting real will take courage to confront our members and challenge them to seek a new path. The reality that research is showing us is that folks joining groups want to find meaning and purpose in the membership process. Some folks say, “Nothing easily gained is appreciated.” That being said, we must take a look at our rites of passage, commit to ensuring that they support the organizational values and have MEANING, not HAZING! Men and women will seek out our organizations only if our rites of passage present them with compelling values to which they can commit and find purpose.
Dr. Gina Lee-Olukoya is the Associate Dean of Students at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She is a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority and has served her sorority as chapter president and collegiate chapter advisor. Her research areas include hazing in historically African American sororities and application of feminist ideology to the experiences of women in sororities. Gina serves on the Board of Directors for HazingPrevention.Org and director of the Novak Institute for Hazing Prevention.
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]]>The post The Trickle Down Effect – A Recruitment Strategy appeared first on Phi Delta Theta.
]]>Effective recruiting of new members comes from first and foremost truly believing in what your organization stands for and being passionate when conveying that message. But, who are you telling your message to? Anyone who will listen? Are you strategic about your delivery?
#1 Strategy: Recruit men with high GPAs
As a Dean working with Greek organizations for many years I’ve seen chapters come and go, but the most stable fraternal organizations are those that maintain an overall high GPA. How do they maintain their high GPA? Easy………by recruiting members with a high GPA in the first place. Sometimes we get into a dangerous mindset of thinking that we should offer a bid to a potential member because he’s ‘a good guy’ and would make a great brother. Think again. This decision will have negative consequences.
So, why recruit new members with high GPAs in the first place?
THIS IS THE EFFECT!
So, how do you figure out who has high GPAs on campus?
If you are responsible for the success of your fraternity then start with a successful strategy!
Michelle Merritt is the Associate Dean of Students at Monmouth College in Monmouth, Illinois. She is a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma Womens Fraternity. Michelle graduated from Monmouth College in 1989 with a B.S. in Speech Communications and went on to receive her M.S. in Student Affairs Administration in Higher Education from the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. Prior to her current role at Monmouth College, she served as the Assistant Director of Housing at the University of Central Missouri and Residence Hall Director at the University of Wisconsin La Crosse.
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]]>Ask any fraternity man or sorority woman who their “person” is, and they can tell you instantly. It’s the one person that they feel is responsible for their membership in their organization. Whether it’s the person that continuously called, texted, and Facebook crept you until you came to an event, or the person that connected with you over free hamburgers, it’s the one person that you believe helped sell you on this thing we call fraternity. For me, it was Lindsey. Lindsey and I shared a few classes together. It was something about the way that her face lit up when she talked about her sorority, or how happy she was when I saw her with sisters… Or maybe it was that when I talked to Lindsey, she would tell me about how much I would be an asset to the sorority, instead of trying to sell the sorority to me. Whatever it was, I wanted to be a part of it.
As you begin the school year and delve into the crazy time of recruitment, think about your person. Think about the guy that really connected with you and made you seriously consider what it would be like to be a member of Phi Delta Theta. Then ask yourself what you need to do to become someone else’s “person.”
So often, we focus on selling ourselves based on our accomplishments from the past year- Greek Week champ, All Sing winner, Intramural champ, and the amount of money we’ve raised for our philanthropy. Don’t get me wrong- those are big wins! Often though, we forget why the men are really walking through our doors. Men are walking through our door looking for brotherhood. They’re looking for an opportunity to get involved on campus. They’re looking to become a part of something bigger than themselves. They’re looking for a place that they can walk into and feel comfortable; a place to call home.
My advice to you is that instead of spitting out random facts about your organization, take a little extra time to share your story. Why did you join Phi Delta Theta, and what have you gained from your experience thus far? Likewise, be a listening ear and find out what the men that you’re talking to are looking for in a fraternity. Have high expectations in the quality of men that you’re looking for, but also ensure that you’re living up to those expectations. Think about your cardinal principles of friendship, sound learning, and rectitude, and share what striving to live those daily means to you.
And if you do these things, you may just become someone’s “person.”
Tabatha Sarco is currently the Assistant Director of Student Involvement of Lynchburg College, located in Virginia. Before coming to LC, Tabatha completed her Masters in College Student Personnel at Bowling Green State University, where she advised the Interfraternity Council. Tabatha is a 2006 graduate of Austin Peay State University, which she earned her degree in Psychology and Leadership Studies. She is a member of Alpha Delta Pi Sorority.
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]]>In 2009, the Phi Delta Theta Fraternity re-installed a local chapter at Butler University. That fall saw the opening of a refurbished “Castle,” which had served as home to the chapter since 1929. The Fraternity’s return, however, also was accompanied by a new commitment to alcohol-free housing.
As president of Butler University, I know that alcohol abuse remains a major problem on university campuses. In the 2007 report Wasting the Best and the Brightest, published by the Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, over 40% of college students surveyed had engaged in binge drinking. Within the fraternity and sorority population, however, the incidence of reported binge drinking was 67%.
Alcohol abuse in Greek life has been associated with hazing, deterioration of living facilities, rising insurance costs, injuries, sexual assaults, and death. The anticipated benefits of an alcohol-free housing environment include a renewed focus on friendships, academic achievement, leadership development, and service opportunities.
The Indiana Gamma Chapter of Phi Delta Theta at Butler has asserted that their house is not a bar but a home where students live in an environment that enables academic success and brotherhood. The members seek to excel as campus leaders. Their success will lead to better recruitment and retention of brothers, revitalization of alumni involvement in the chapter, and an improved public image for Greeks.
This past year, in celebrating the 150th anniversary of its founding at Butler, the Chapter was recognized for its LEED-certified building renovation, won the university’s Student Government Association Legacy Award for being the organization that made the biggest impact on campus, and had one of its alumni leaders, Phillip S. Kappes, honored with the Phi Delta Theta Legion of Merit.
I commend the Indiana Gamma Chapter for its auspicious beginning and look forward to its continuing success in implementing an alcohol-free housing policy as a cornerstone for encouraging members to embody academic distinction, servant-leadership, and lifelong friendship leavened by the qualities of confidence, honesty, and reliability.
May other national fraternities look to this alcohol-free housing policy as a model that could help change the binge-drinking culture on college campuses across the country.
Dr. Fong’s blog post is part of a series to celebrate Phi Delta Theta’s Brotherhood: Our Substance of Choice campaign, a 10-year celebration of alcohol-free housing. Read the white paper, written by Dr. Edward G. Whipple, Past President of Phi Delta Theta and Vice President for Student Affairs at Bowling Green State University, recapping 10 years of alcohol-free housing.
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]]>It’s early December and final exams are around the corner (if not already upon you). With them comes another opportunity to positively set yourself apart or save yourself from academic disaster – hopefully the former. If you’re anything like I was as an undergraduate at this time of year, you’re stressed out and desperately craving winter recess. It will come. Now is the time to focus.
Easier said than done, you say? Yes and no. Yes, because your life is surely filled with distractions that draw your attention away from the task at end. No, because it’s really not that complicated. Earning great grades in your class is like peacebuilding (my area of work) in that it’s less a matter of possibility and more a matter of willingness. That is to say, it’s not whether earning an “A” is possible, it’s whether you’re willing to do the work necessary to get there. There are, of course, noteworthy exceptions to that general proposition, but now is not the time to dwell on them. Now is the time focus.
Although I’ve earned degrees at various levels, I’ve never really thought of myself as all that smart. Consequently, I tell many students with whom I work that they don’t necessarily have to be smart to excel in college (although it helps), but they do have to be smart enough to take good advice (and discerning enough to separate out bad advice). That was my strength academically. What I lacked in sheer brilliance (and that was a lot), I made up for by following good advice. If a teacher said to study for three hours, I did. If an advisor told me to take a particular course from a particular professor, I did. If a trusted friend told me to throw out a paper and start over, I did. The recipe was not complicated and it need not be for you either. The key is to focus.
Your last final may seem a long way off (or not), but it’s only three weeks out at best. Put the distractions aside and make it happen. Make this grade – your grade – happen. Do what ought to be done. Do what needs to be done to let you rest comfortably over winter break knowing that you did everything in your power to fulfill your commitment to sound learning. Put in extra hours, avoid distractions, eat food that nourishes your mind and body, get fresh air, get some rest to replenish yourself, and most importantly FOCUS.
That’s good advice. I promise.
– Jay Wilgus, J.D., M.D.R. (Utah Alpha, 2001) is the Director of the Office of Student Conflict Resolution at the University of Michigan. He earned a bachelors degree and law degree at the University of Utah. He earned a masters degree in dispute resolution at Pepperdine University.
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]]>First and foremost, chapters should be reaching out to not only our friends in the Greek community, but others on campus as well. Who are those people that have similar issues as you or an interest in the “fight.” Campus culture will matter in that discussion. Typically athletics, ROTC programs, student organizations, marching bands, campus security, faculty, and other areas all can and should be a part of this movement. Also, don’t limit yourself to just your campus. We have a variety of stakeholders in our communities that would love to help in these efforts. Remember, the more people you pull together, the more resources you have at your disposal. This is especially important given the current economic crisis in our country. A chapter shouldn’t attempt this alone. Get others involved and find ways you can integrate into efforts already taking place on your campus.
When it comes to chapter programming, there are three areas of focus that can guide chapters. The first programming area is AWARENESS. While I alluded that banners don’t prevent hazing, they do help people become aware of the issue of hazing. Look for ways to generate a “buzz” about hazing issues on campus. Use every avenue possible to create awareness. The great thing is that ANY event you do will help in this area. You will know what reaches your fellow students on your campus better than anyone else. Use banners, newsletters, flyers, table cards, or the campus newspaper, if you have it on campus use it to get the word out. Also there are limitless options for ways to incorporate technology. From Facebook to Twitter to campus announcements to iPhone applications there is a buffet of options. The important thing is for your chapter to explore what will best integrate into your campus community. Are you a podcast campus? Do you have a daily student news e-mail? Don’t feel the need to re-invent the wheel. If there is something that works on your campus then use it. It allows you more time to focus on the message than the delivery method.
The next programming area is to create an UNDERSTANDING of the problem. Awareness simply addresses what the problem is, but understanding takes it to that next level of “why it is a problem.” This is harder to address in passive programing. Sometimes national statistics simply fly past students. Many times we hear, “Yeah, but that doesn’t happen here?” This is when you need to create more education-based programs. You need to strive to make this piece real and relevant to the students on your campus. Your chapter will know your fellow students better than anyone else, make sure you find those cultural pieces that will help your campus actually understand why this is a problem. This could be done through hosting a national speaker or an educational program. You need to find a message that makes it personal to your chapter and campus. There are a variety of resources in this area that you can get from your national organization, on campus Greek advisor, and online through sites such as www.hazingprevention.org.
Finally, we need to look at events that EMPOWER our students. This is the most hard task to accomplish. Basically, you are giving people the skills to lead this change and models of change. This is accomplished through activating bystanders. In the hazingprevention.org planning document that can be found on the website, it discusses activating the bystanders on campus.
“The best way to eliminate hazing is to activate the bystanders – those who are standing idly by while hazing takes place. Even students who don’t actively take part in hazing, allow it to continue by not standing up against it. You may feel you are the only one who is opposed to hazing, but that is probably not the case – you are probably in the silent majority, but no one wants to be the first to speak up.”
Look at activities that activate the bystander. In your educational programs, give them actual examples on how to not only actively confront hazing, but how to potentially diffuse a situation through distractions and positive programming. Walk people through real life situations and scenarios and give them options on how to handle the situation. Make sure students are educated about the resources they have on campus to help them actively take a stand against hazing. You want people to leave your programs saying, “I CAN actually make change in my organization.”
I hope you all use your collective chapters to think about taking hazing prevention to the next level. You should be in the business of teaching and creating leaders that are committed to a hazing free environment. Remember, this is just one week to highlight an issue should be addressing all year. Your chapter can be a leader in this effort on campus. How better to live the mission of your founders?
Adam currently resides in Blacksburg Virginia where he is the Assistant Director of Fraternity and Sorority Life at Virginia Tech. Adam also sits on the Sexual Violence Prevention Council for Virginia Tech, and serves on the Mentors in Violence Prevention Facilitation Team. Adam finished a M.S. degree in Educational Leadership with an option in College Student Development in 2008 from Oklahoma State University. He also holds a B.A. in Integrated Sciences/Biology and a M.A. in Secondary Education from West Virginia University. Adam is also a proud lifetime member of Sigma Phi Epsilon Fraternity and volunteers on the local level. Adam is also a facilitator for CAMPUSPEAK
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]]>The post Beyond Hazing appeared first on Phi Delta Theta.
]]>We have done many of you a disservice in the ongoing debate about hazing in fraternities and sororities. As an undergraduate in the late 1990’s, the education I received about hazing consisted of a list of prohibited activities, and I was told there was a zero tolerance policy against hazing. At the campus and inter/national organization levels, chapters were labeled as healthy/non-hazing organizations, or as unhealthy/hazing organizations. In other words, chapters either met the campus’ or headquarter’s minimum expectations, or they did not. But, by definition, to meet minimum expectations is to be merely mediocre.
As a fraternity man, I have been told time and time again that I am to be more than mediocre. As a Theta Chi, I took sacred oaths to perpetuate the ideals of my fraternity for the rest of my life. As a fraternity man or sorority woman, you have taken or will take sacred oaths to be the very best citizen, leader, scholar, and person you can be. As fraternity and sorority professionals, we have done you a disservice by lumping together those groups who have met those minimum expectations.
If you can imagine a continuum of unhealthy organization (left) to healthy organization (right) …
Hazing ———- | ———- Not hazing ———- | ———- ?
… What if we continued the spectrum to the right … where would that lead us as individuals, as organizations, and as a fraternal movement? Imagine the possibilities.
What is hazing?
I want to challenge you to think beyond a list of prohibited activities. Policies are important in some ways, because those are the standard by which violators will be judged in campus conduct procedures or legal proceedings. In other ways, they are not as important because they will not teach you to be an exemplar of your fraternity or sorority’s values. They will not teach you to be a true fraternity man or sorority woman. The definition that I use is: whether or not it is against your/somebody else’s personal values. Alexander Hamilton said, “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” If you know what you will stand for (your personal values), you are one step closer to realizing what lies at the far right of the continuum I mentioned above. I’m convinced that this is what our founders had in mind when fraternity and sorority were fragile ideas held strongly by a small group of committed leaders.
On the other hand, hazing teaches the newest members of our organizations to blindly follow a group of leaders, accepting a direction without question. It also teaches those people that, no matter how many times you may stand up or speak out for your personal values, you will be knocked down again and again until you accept the status quo. Lastly, it teaches that going along is getting along, despite a litany of research and scholarship that shows us that “challenging the process” (Kouzes & Posner, The Leadership Challenge, 2008) and introducing diverse, sometimes controversial ideas, are essential to leadership. Hazing reminds me of a “Whack-A-Mole” game, where no matter how many times somebody stands up, they’re smacked back down. When our founders were meeting on campuses throughout the country, when only 1 percent of 18-to-24-year-olds were attending colleges, they gathered around the idea that more could be done to educate men and women, thereby serving their country and fellow man. They were creating organizations that demanded more of an already elite group of men and women.
When you think about what lies at the far right of the continuum I mentioned above, you may imagine a person who stands up in the face of adversity, a champion for those who are less fortunate, or in other words, a hero.
Building Heroes
Almost everybody can name a hero, whether it is somebody who had a significant impact on you personally, somebody who has made a significant impact on the world, or even a fictional character who exemplifies heroic qualities. Some of you may now be thinking of a mother, father, coach, teacher, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., a former president of the United States, a religious leader, or Batman and Spider-Man. What do heroes have in common?
According to Zeno Franco and Philip Zimbardo’s The Banality of Heroism (2006-07), heroes:
In the context of fraternities and sororities, heroism is what lies at the far right side of the continuum – it is the ultimate realization of our organizations’ purposes. It is going way beyond the minimum expectations, to the place our founders wanted us as lifelong members to go. In other words, if we give every single member what we promise to give them, we are preparing them to be our generation’s heroes.
Hazing ———- | ———- Not hazing ———- | ———- Heroism
When you look back at the greatest heroes of the 19th and 20th centuries, do you think it is a coincidence that so many of them are affiliated with fraternities and sororities? Of course not. Those heroes embraced their personal values and their organizations’ purposes, and made it their life’s work to preserve or pursue those ideals and values.
In your chapter, how can you move toward the far right side of the continuum. In hazing or unhealthy organizations, people are taught to blindly follow a group of leaders, to not stand up for their values, and to not rock the boat. In heroic organizations, people are taught to (Franco & Zimbardo, 2006-07):
The greatest gift that we can give the newest members of our organizations is the gift of preparing them to be our generation’s best leaders, its best servants, and its best heroes. Indeed, it also is the greatest gift we can give back to our organizations, and ourselves.
Chad Ellsworth is Coordinator, Office for Fraternity & Sorority Life at the University of Minnesota, in addition to serving as President, Board of Directors for HazingPrevention.Org
Franco, Z. & Zimbardo, P. (2006-07, Fall/Winter). The banality of heroism. Greater Good, 30-35.
Kouzes, J. M. and Posner, B. Z. (2008). The leadership challenge. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
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]]>How do you get parents to understand that Phi Delta Theta is more than just a house? How do you help them understand the value of your fraternal experience without them attending ritual?
The average parent would probably say they are confused enough by LMAO and Tweeting. What about the parent that did not attend college and does not recognize the funny looking letters on your house and shirts…or phrases like coke date, swap and mixers.
As the first-generation college student population increases the number of first-time fraternity parents does as well. Most of these students start off at a two-year institution and then transfer often times with a break immediately after high school for work and/or military service.
What does this mean for you as a Phi Delt?
As you’re probably discovering the way your chapter is recruiting is changing. The potential new members might be a little older, might be coming to school from the military and have parents that are not familiar with what fraternities have become today. Fraternities are no longer “frats.” They no longer have membership restricted by race and the phrase “values-based recruiting” is a part of the everyday conversation.
Recruiting potential new members and keeping members also includes recruiting and retaining their parents.
As chapter leaders, it is important that parents be included in the undergraduate membership experience. No, I’m not talking about inviting them to social events and chapter meetings. But consider how parents could be included in the other aspects the fraternal experience.
It could be as simple as a parent newsletter. Don’t just send them a copy of the alumni newsletter. Make a specific one for them. Make it parent specific. Include pictures with members doing “stuff,” not just pictures of members dressed up in costumes for social events. Show them what day-to-day living is like in the fraternity house and/or on campus. They want to know about intramurals and the service project the chapter just completed and even the member who got his first A on a test.
Consider starting a Parent or Mom or Dad Club. They can be a virtual “club” since not all parents are (a) parents in the traditional sense especially with the growth of step-parents and (b) not all parents live nearby. Take advantage of Facebook and have a Fan page for parents only. Create a Parent Chairman position to communicate with parents. He can post reminders about upcoming fees, events and updates on the chapter’s activities. Some parent clubs work with Housing Corporations on projects and/or fundraising. Below is an example of a fundraising letter sent to active members’ parents by the chapter president’s mother.
Use the same communication strategies that you use with members. No, not the chapter listserv that generates 100+ emails a day. Use the chapter’s AIM or Twitter account with the reminders and daily updates. Invite parents to follow and/or subscribe to it. Keep in mind that means that these messages should always be parent friendly.
Keep in mind that parent relations should not be hard or expensive. Parents want to be involved and want to know what is happening with their kid at college. Creating relationships with parents is very similar to recruiting potential new members: meet them, make them your friend, introduce them to your friends and then introduce them to Phi Delta Theta.
PARENT LETTER EXAMPLE
Up on the housetop, reindeer pause.
Out jumps good old Santa Claus.
The roof gives way at the Pike house, alas
Santa lands in the foyer, right on his —.
Ho, ho, ho! Where did he go? Ho, ho, ho! Where did he go?As the holiday season approaches, ideas for the perfect gift begin to overtake my thoughts. I have a 20-year old son who is a member of the XYZ Fraternity at the ANYWHERE College. Since he turned twelve and gave up paint ball, it has been my greatest challenge to give him a Christmas gift that is meaningful and appreciated.
So if you are a XYZ, a recently graduated XYZ, a parent, or spouse, here is a chance to give an interesting gift and offer a helping hand to the entire brotherhood. The fraternity house is in need of a new roof and estimates for replacement costs are in the range of $15,000. Consider making a roof repair donation in honor of your XYZ.
A $25 donation will provide one bundle of shingles and two bundles are $50. It will take approximately 600 bundles to cover the roof. Mail checks to:
ANYWHERE College
Memphis, TN 38112Please include XYZ fundraiser on the MEMO line of the check. Within a few days, you will receive a certificate that can be presented to your XYZ honoree on Christmas morning or a similar occasion.
I truly believe that your XYZ will appreciate the thoughtfulness of this gift. These young men who are current brothers have every intention of raising this money and having the job done properly and they will certainly appreciate the financial help. This house full of friendship and fun will be made secure for posterity. Please help Santa stay safe on the housetop.
For further information on this project, contact CHAPTER PRESIDENT, Theta Chapter president, EMAIL@ANYWHERE.edu.
Donations are not tax-deductible.
Sincerely,
Parent of XYZ Chapter President
M.L. Gough is the Event Coordinator for the University Center and Rose Theatre at The University of Memphis. She is a Delta Zeta from Arkansas State University and received her Masters of Education from The University of Arkansas. She has served as the Greek Advisor at several institutions and now enjoys volunteering with fraternities and sororities.
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