As a twenty-two-year-old in my first year of high school teaching, I wish I could have read the points I am articulating below. Mistakes wouldn’t have been made, sadness and heartache may have been avoided, and possibly relationships that had gone awry would instead have been strengthened. These ‘lessons’ include: 

Realizing the two most important things in life are one’s health and one’s family. Obviously, if a person’s health declines, that inhibits them from fully enjoying the many opportunities available in the world. Family does not necessarily mean blood family—I define family as a network of individuals who are there to support you at any given moment. 

Being kind—while this seems simplistic and trite, it is amazing how much kindness is missing in the world today. Words hurt, and people are so free to use them and fail to realize the impact those words have on others and how that harm affects many other aspects of life. 

Understanding what a work ethic is—social media has reduced people’s attention spans and caused many to jump from one activity or job to another without focusing on the quality of their work. The adage “work until the work gets done” no longer seems to apply to many people. Work is either not completed well or not completed at all. 

Appreciating friendships—lifelong friends (and especially those made in the fraternity) are important, and it takes work to maintain those friendships, like any relationship. Fraternity friendships “are for life,” but maintaining them requires commitment on both individuals’ parts.  

Standing up for what you believe—this is especially difficult in today’s world, where political lines are drawn, people don’t listen to each other, and ‘free speech’ has taken on a negative connotation. “Doing the right thing” applies to both personal and professional life. 

I learned a valuable lesson as General Council President. Phi Delta Theta’s alcohol-free housing gave me an opportunity to test my ability to do what was best for the Fraternity, even though there were many who were not supportive of my leadership on this issue. The discussion about alcohol-free housing began during my term as General Council President, from 1992 to 94. At that time, alcohol was being served to volunteers at events like Convention and meetings between Conventions. As a college vice president for student affairs, I saw firsthand how alcohol abuse affected many undergraduates’ academic performance, campus leadership, and relationships with peers and college officials. I also clearly saw the link between hazing and alcohol abuse. When we started discussing this with chapter advisers and province presidents, there was tremendous pushback against even talking about no alcohol at events. My General Council decided to stop serving alcohol at events for volunteers and their wives or partners who attended. There was tremendous animosity on the part of a vocal group toward me and the other Council members; however, we knew it was the right decision for the survival and growth of Phi Delta Theta. It would have been easier to give in and avoid addressing the issue. Although it took four years, and it wasn’t until Dr. Bob Deloian’s 1998 Convention that Phi Delta Theta officially approved alcohol-free housing, I believe the 1992–94 General Council stood firm for what it believed was right and laid the groundwork for the 1998 adoption. 

I wish I had better understood right after my undergraduate program the points I just articulated. However, we all know that real growth and understanding happen only through experiences, successes, failures, and relationships. 

The post Letter to My Younger Self: Dr. Edward G. Whipple, PhD, Hanover ’74  appeared first on Phi Delta Theta.

What I didn’t fully appreciate until much later was just how much Phi Delta Theta had shaped my path. My freshman year of college was tough! I was homesick, overwhelmed, and even considered dropping out. Thankfully, I was encouraged to stick it out, reminded how fortunate I was to be in college in the first place. When I returned sophomore year, I rushed Phi Delta Theta and found my people. 

The camaraderie and support of my brothers carried me through the rest of my college experience. As someone with four older sisters and no biological brothers, I had always longed for that kind of brotherhood. Phi Delta Theta gave me that and more. The friendships and mentorship I found not only helped me survive those years but also laid the foundation for who I would become. 

Nearly twenty-five years later, that sense of brotherhood has never faded. Life has scattered us in different directions, and I’ve lost touch with some, but the magic of Phi Delta Theta is that whenever we reconnect, it feels like no time has passed at all. That immediate connection, picking up where we left off, is something I treasure deeply. 

The Fraternity has been more than social ties; it has been a lifeline. The advice, encouragement, and steady presence of brothers have helped me navigate challenges in ways I can’t imagine doing alone. For men who have never experienced fraternity life, I often wonder how they find that same level of support and camaraderie. 

Fast forward to today, and I’ve found myself pulled back into fraternity life in ways I never expected. I recently began volunteering on the chapter advisory board to help reinstall New Jersey Alpha. As part of that role, I was invited to attend the General Convention, a gathering I’ve heard about but never taken seriously. 

I decided, “Why not?” I had never been, and it seemed like a good opportunity to learn more. What I discovered surprised me: a vibrant, supportive, and deeply connected brotherhood that extended far beyond my chapter. Everyone I met was eager to connect, not because of business cards or résumés, but because of a simple, shared bond: we were brothers!

The Atlanta Convention in June 2025 was a revelation. I came away with new friendships, a deeper understanding of Phi Delta Theta’s reach, and a renewed sense of pride in being part of something much larger than myself. I only wish I had discovered this sooner. 

Phi Delta Theta has always been there for me, even when I didn’t fully realize it. And now, nearly twenty-five years later, I find myself grateful not just for the past friendships but for the continuing opportunities to grow, serve, and connect through this extraordinary brotherhood.

Sincerely,

Bob Cavanagh

Washington College ’00

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In a very tangible way, Phi Delta Theta was the tipping point for landing the job at the company I now run.

Back in 2007, during my final semester at North Carolina State University, I was on the hunt for a career. My GPA in mechanical engineering was solid, but not extraordinary.My résumé included two summer internships, a term as a student senator, and an intriguing senior design project. The leadership roles I held were listed at the very bottom, including my position as social chair of Phi Delt.

During my interview, I was asked in detail about my role and responsibilities as social chair, and as it turns out, finding a competent engineer with social skills is rarer than I had imagined. Our company’s founder has often shared with employees and clients that my position as social chair tipped the scales in my favor over other candidates for the entry-level associate engineer position.

Fast forward eighteen years, and I’ve launched a new regional office for our company (DELTA |v| Forensic Engineering) in Nashville, Tennessee, which I led for eight years before returning to Charlotte, North Carolina, to spearhead the growth of our firm. You never know what will resonate with employers, but my story is a shining example of how the least expected detail can make all the difference.

Sincerely,

Heath Spivey, NC State ’06

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Mason, 

The idea of going to college is both exciting and intimidating. It’s a chance to meet new people, experience new things, and grow in ways you don’t expect. But with thousands of people around, it’s easy to feel lost. Finding a consistent group of friends might seem tough, but it makes a huge difference in shaping your experience. 

Joining a fraternity is an opportunity worth taking. You’ll learn about friendship and leadership in a way that keeps you engaged with your school and community. It’s not just about having a social group; it’s about figuring out how to make decisions that benefit others, learning to hold friends accountable, and stepping up when it counts. 

Building strong connections takes effort—showing up, being there for people, and making time for the friendships that matter. The more you invest in those relationships, the more meaningful they become. Some of the best conversations happen at the most unexpected times: late-night talks, road trips, or just sitting around after a long day. These moments add up, and before you know it, the people around you become more than just friends; they become a support system. 

At times, it won’t be easy. Leadership means making tough calls, and being part of a group means navigating different personalities and challenges. But those experiences help you grow, and they’ll stick with you after college. The friendships you build will, too. The leadership skills you develop will carry into your career, helping you work with different personalities, handle responsibility, and make tough decisions. And the people you meet won’t just be college friends; they’ll be the ones you turn to for advice, celebrate major life moments with, and sometimes even work alongside in the future. 

The post Letter to My Younger Self : Mason Rice, Lindenwood ’23  appeared first on Phi Delta Theta.

This is me (you) writing to you (me) from twenty-five years in the future. I know, I know—it doesn’t make sense and seems impossible. Just throw in the Back to the Future VHS and accept my forthcoming advice. Today’s date is January 8, 2025, and you are in August 2000. I’m writing to shed some light on what I’ve learned over the last two and a half decades since I was in your shoes (literally). No, I’m not going to help you get rich by telling you the outcomes of future sporting events (see Back to the Future). Instead, I’d like to give you something infinitely more valuable: advice on what to expect in the coming months, semesters, and the next twenty-five years.

You’re new to Phi Delta Theta, but you’re not new to its Cardinal Principles. You already have a strong track record of making good friendships; you’ve consistently demonstrated your commitment to sound learning and education (though I recommend taking your first couple of years in college more seriously—hint, hint); and your faith in God has kept your moral compass pointing straight. However, what you are not (yet) familiar with are the Fraternity’s future concepts of Adaptive Leadership, Fulfilled Potential, and Lifelong Engagement. This isn’t your fault—you just haven’t had the experiences yet to develop these skills. But trust me, you will. You will gain experiences in spades. Learn from them so you can continuously improve yourself and lift up others.

Adaptive Leadership

You have no way of knowing this yet, but your entire life and future will dramatically change in just over a year. Everything you think you know about yourself, the world, and your future will shift before the spring semester of your sophomore year. Eventually, you will commit yourself—and your life—to serving others in the most rewarding way possible. You will embark on a life calling that will train you in adaptive leadership in ways you can’t yet imagine.

Here’s an important newsflash that will help: you don’t know everything, and “your way” is not always the best way. People receive and react to information differently. Learn to adapt to how others think and communicate. Real leaders take the time to understand those they lead. They are adaptable. (I know you don’t see yourself as a leader yet. I also know you struggle with self-doubt and low self-esteem. That won’t fully change, but you will learn to manage it—take heart!)

Being adaptive does not mean you’re indecisive or a weak leader—quite the opposite. Be adaptive!

Fulfilled Potential

I’ll be blunt: to reach your full potential, you need to:

1. Believe in yourself and stop listening to the lies you tell yourself.
2. Trust others.
3. Work hard.
4. Most importantly, put the needs of others ahead of your own.

As long as you’re focused on yourself, you will never reach your full potential. Remember, we enjoy life by the help and society of others. The more you become the help and society for others, the more you will achieve. Trust me on this: serve others to achieve your full potential.

Lifelong Engagement

Phi Delta Theta isn’t just a group of guys you hang out with in college. It’s an organization devoted to developing leaders—one you should stay engaged with long after graduation. I know it will be difficult (you’ll see), but you will feel more fulfilled if you seek opportunities to stay involved. You will have a lot to offer—to both GHQ and actives.

Don’t settle for the bare minimum or passive participation. Become a monthly donor as early as possible (any amount counts!), volunteer, and seek ways to serve.

In Conclusion

Younger Chris, you have quite the road ahead! Enjoy the highs. Learn from the lows. Become an adaptive leader by putting others first and adjusting to them. Reach your full potential by serving others and accepting both your strengths and your flaws. Stay engaged with Phi Delta Theta—support GHQ, mentor actives, and give back to the Foundation.

Above all, serve others, because:
“To do what ought to be done, but would not have been done unless I did it, I thought to be my duty.”

Lieutenant Colonel (US Army) Chris Loschiavo is a graduate of Mississippi State University and Liberty University. Over the last twenty years, Lt. Col. Loschiavo has served in various positions of increased responsibility while serving as an active duty army engineer officer. He currently lives in North Carolina with his wife and children and will retire from the Army in June 2025.

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As you sit in class, sketching out dreams of becoming a trial attorney, I can see the fire in your heart and the determination in your eyes. You’ve always had big dreams, Mateo, but let me tell you something—you’re going to go far beyond anything you’ve imagined. There’s so much ahead of you, more than you can now fathom, and I want to share some hard-earned lessons that I wish I’d known back then.

Let’s start with the most important thing: stay close to Christ Jesus. I know faith has been a struggle for you. It feels distant, sometimes irrelevant to the here and now, but trust me—your faith will become your anchor. Prioritize God above everything else. Don’t negotiate church time, and don’t compromise your prayer life. As hard as it is, prayer gets easier with practice, and it will transform your heart. Hold on tight to Him, because your journey will get tough, and He will carry you through.

Right now, you probably see volunteering and helping others as something you’ll do when you have time. But make the time, Mateo. There’s no better way to grow than by serving others. And start running every day—not just to stay in shape but to prepare for the Army. Yes, that’s right: the Army is in your future. It will demand a lot from you, and this habit will pay off in ways you can’t imagine.

You’ll go to college and join Phi Delta Theta, a Greek fraternity (and the oldest at UNLV at that), and that decision will change your life forever. You’ll find a brotherhood of high-achieving men who challenge and inspire you. Through The Bond (you’ll know what this means later), the values, and the history of citizen-servants who came before, you’ll grow into a service-driven professional. Your brothers will push you to be better—academically, socially, and spiritually—and you’ll rise to meet that challenge.

But before all that, you need to get your priorities straight: God first, then school, then family, then work, and finally extracurriculars. I know that’s the opposite of how you think things work right now, but trust me. When you align your life this way, you’ll not only become a better friend but also the warrior you’re meant to be. Oh, and one more thing: do your homework, and take the time to learn how to actually study. Don’t let your iron-clad pride get in the way of your success.

Hard work is exactly what it sounds like—hard. I know you’ve always been quick to speak and slow to listen, but practice the reverse. Speak less, listen more, and make reading a daily habit. This will serve you well, not just in the Army but in every aspect of life. And when it comes to leadership, remember this: it’s not about being the best—it’s about helping others succeed alongside you. You’ll become the fourth Iron Phi in your chapter’s history, continuing a legacy of perseverance and dedication. Help your brothers beat you to the finish line. That’s where real leadership lies.

Your parents and mentors will be your greatest allies—don’t forget that. Lean on them, but don’t hesitate to chase internships, scholarships, or opportunities that scare you a little. Overcommitting will burn you out, but undercommitting will leave you wondering what might have been. Find the balance, and don’t shy away from the hard stuff. That’s where growth happens.

If you could see the man you’re becoming, I pray that you’d be proud. I hope you’d marvel at the career you’ve built in the military, and you’d probably laugh at how much future-you wishes he’d studied Python earlier. But it’s okay; every step has its purpose. Through all of this, the most important lesson is simple: pray daily. Life gets hard, and it doesn’t slow down, but when you center your day on prayer, everything else falls into place.

And one last thing: be proud to be a UNLV Rebel. The journey you’re on is incredible, and every challenge you face will mold you into the man God has called you to be. Trust the process, and trust yourself. You’ve got this.

Yours in the Bond,
You, from the Future

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College can make you feel like just another number, but don’t buy into that mindset. Take time to connect with professors and staff—they care more than you think. Build those relationships, and the campus will start to feel like home, much like the bond you’re forming with your chapter brothers. You’re also paying for this; it is your responsibility to extract the value out of it. Find those people who let you walk in, sit down, and talk about how the world is changing around you and then discuss it with you, with opposability in viewpoint. You’ll thank yourself later for investing in those connections.

I wish the Phi Delt I was a refounding member of had been an option for you as a freshman. Imagine having four years instead of just eighteen months of those connections. The beautiful thing is, you still have life-long friends from that blimp in time.

Oh, and that girl you took to prom in high school last minute because your original prom date broke her leg? She’s still your better half fifteen years later. Now, the two of you are tackling zone defense at home with three kiddos outnumbering you, surrounded by a great family in your hometown. She encouraged you to consider joining to help re-start Phi Delt as a junior for more campus leadership, but let’s be honest—you really joined just to be at Greek things where she and the Alpha Chi Omegas were and to have a few good times with some new buddies. Who would’ve thought that one decision would lead to a now decade-long career at Phi Delta Theta General Headquarters surrounded by some of the best humans you’ve ever known and countless transformative experiences?

I know you’re unsure right now. You’re wondering if the choices you’re making are the right ones and if you’re good enough to reach your goals or let alone finish an essay in time. Those doubts are normal, but let me tell you—you’re capable of so much more than you realize. The moments where you feel most uncertain are the ones that will shape you the most, so lean into them. You aren’t disappointed with a bud because it isn’t a flower yet; give yourself time to grow.

Each day, you’ll find what you’re looking for. If you look for negativity and pain, you’ll find it. But if you seek joy and happiness, that’s there, too. Pairing this mindset with the effort you’ve put into building strong systems for yourself, staying reliable, giving space for laughter, and working consistently toward your goals has created a foundation that supports the life you’re living today.

The world and its communities have always been marked by so much, and their volatility and complexity only seem to grow. For many, this brings chaos, uncertainty, and pain closer to home. Yet somehow, you’ve always had a gift for finding perspective and savoring small, joyful moments. Family members with lived experiences taught you to say things like, “The day might be tough, but you can walk. Be grateful for that, because not everyone can.” And your grandpa, when asked how he was doing, always replied, “Better than most,” as a reminder to appreciate what you’ve been given.

As a kid, those sayings often felt annoying—repeated wisdom that didn’t seem to matter. But by college, and even more so today, they mean something to you. Those simple truths have become a lens through which you see the world, and we’re both grateful for the wisdom they’ve carried into our lives.

Turn off your notifications—not everything demands your attention, and most of it doesn’t deserve it. Focus on what truly matters. This simple habit will save you endless stress and distraction.

Here’s another truth it took me years to learn: don’t give weight to criticism from people whose advice you’d never seek. The opinions of strangers or casual acquaintances aren’t worth the space they take up in your mind. Social media will try to convince you otherwise, but you don’t owe the world your deepest consideration. Instead, prioritize the relationships that matter—the ones with people who truly care about you. Don’t let yourself end days with three hours of screen time and only thirty minutes of meaningful connection with loved ones.

Not everyone in your life is meant to stay forever, and that’s okay. Relationships evolve, and part of growth is learning to navigate these transitions with grace. Some people will drift away, and others may struggle to keep up. Embrace these changes as opportunities to grow and to make room for new, meaningful connections. Letting go with grace honors the role they played in your journey while making space for what’s ahead.

Loss, pain, and heartbreak—those moments you wish you could skip—are proof that you’ve also experienced love, joy, and friendship. Don’t lose sight of that. The ache you feel when something ends is just a reminder of how much it mattered. And as painful as it is, it’s always worth it for the stories.

The decisions you’re making now, even the small ones, are laying the foundation for the life you’re living at thirty-two. Keep going—you’re doing better than you realize. Today, the best of your life is in front of you—one filled with witty comments from growing kids, getting to show up each day as a dad, and showing them how great, even amongst all the volatility in the world today, life really is. You’ve really got it better than most, bud.

Keep living your life with intention, perspective, and purpose. How you show up today isn’t just about you—it’s shaping the legacy your kids will carry forward. The values, love, and effort you pour into them now are generational. They’ll build their lives on the foundation you’re laying, so make it strong, joyful, and worth passing on.

Oh, and one last thing—you lived next to the damn wellness center for a year and a half. Build exercise into your daily systems. Here we are a decade later, and I’m just now getting to it; trust me, don’t wait—your future self will thank you for starting now.

With love and gratitude,
Your 32-Year-Old Self

About Dylan

Dylan Berg, North Dakota ’15, has been on staff with Phi Delta Theta General Headquarters since 2015. He currently serves as the  vice president of engagement and analytics. Dylan’s primary responsibility is to gauge and enhance the impact of all communication tactics, the use of cutting-edge technology, and programming in order to expand engagement opportunities and affinity to Phi Delta Theta. Dylan additionally monitors the overall effectiveness of Phi Delta Theta’s strategic initiatives in Phi Delt 2030, ensuring we remain at the forefront of innovation in the fraternity landscape.

Dylan completed his undergraduate studies at the University of North Dakota in Entrepreneurship and Management, is a graduate of Section School’s AI Mini-MBA and IDEO U with a certificate in Collaborative Leadership, is a Certified Salesforce Administrator, Braze Practitioner, and a Lean Six Sigma Black Belt.

Dylan lives in Park River, North Dakota with his Alpha Chi Omega wife Josie and their three children Maren, Ivy, and Byron. Locally, Dylan is involved in efforts to bring new community and athletic facilities to the area and is an active member of the local volunteer fire and rescue department. In his free time, he enjoys spending time with family, gardening, traveling, and college hockey.

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Until then, I want to talk about Friendship and Fulfilled Potential. These are words I wish I had heard at your stage of life. 

You’re worried you’re not good enough. Eventually, you’ll realize that EVERYBODY has this fear about themselves, but no one talks about it because we’re terrified that we’re the only ones feeling this way. 

You’re worried about fitting in, getting good grades, and making your parents proud. You’re also concerned about being cool and being really fit. That’s a lot of pressure! 

In terms of your potential, you’re not getting great marks this year and there’s a simple reason for that: you skip a lot of classes and you leave studying for exams until the very last minute. Would you like to know why you do that? 

You do it to self-sabotage. Deep down, you’re worried you’re not smart enough, so you leave everything until the last minute, giving yourself an excuse for not doing well. “I only started studying the night before—no wonder I bombed that exam!” This way, you have an excuse that only reflects on your effort, not your intelligence. 

In terms of friendship, you’re scared that maybe you’re not as fun, cool, or interesting as you should be. As a result, you act aloof around your friend groups and don’t commit to spending lots of time with the same people; you’re worried they’ll get bored of you. This means you don’t engage in the Fraternity as much as you could. You only show up at events every once in a while to hear, “Hey, look, everyone, Billy’s here!!” It makes you feel special but also means you’ll never build deep friendships. 

So, I’m asking you to dive right in and make the most of what the Fraternity has to offer. You don’t have to be the wildest or most adventurous guy for people to like you. Stop trying to impress—that’s your fear talking. Just be kind and a good listener; that shows everyone that you accept them for who they are. 

Dale Carnegie said, “You can make more friends in two minutes by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” 

You’re good enough already. It’s time to step out of your comfort zone and unleash the most genuine, caring, and emotional version of yourself. The world wants and needs it.

About Billy

Brother Billy Anderson redefined success by leaving a thriving advertising career to pursue a life true to himself. He founded The Courage Crusade, where he focuses on executive coaching, facilitating workshops, and professional speaking for top companies. Certified by the International Coaching Federation and Career Partners International, Billy is also a lead instructor for Outward Bound and a contributing writer for Globe & Mail. Brother Anderson is a frequent speaker at the Kleberg Emerging Leaders Institute, where he inspires others to step outside their comfort zones.

The post Letter To My Younger Self: Billy Anderson, Carleton ’94  appeared first on Phi Delta Theta.

Tyler Brenfleck, South Florida ’15, standing on the right. Tyler is holding the Phi Delta Theta flag outside of General Headquarters during the 2014 Kleberg Emerging Leaders Institute.

In ten years, you’re going to receive an email notification from Phi Delta Theta General Headquarters with photos from your time at the Kleberg Emerging Leaders Institute, and you’ll have a good laugh. Things sure do change over a decade, but I tell you this: you’ll appreciate the memories and experiences like these that shaped your journey.

Your decision to attend Kleberg and step into a leadership role within the fraternal organization is more significant than you can imagine. This choice will set the stage for the rest of your life. True leadership is about making impactful decisions, and by choosing to get involved now, you are contributing to a prosperous future.

As you grow in the spirit of Friendship, Sound Learning, and Rectitude, remember that these qualities will shape you into someone others respect, trust, and follow. Understand that the efforts you put in today are laying the groundwork for your future successes.

See how far your limits will take you, and embrace your journey with confidence and conviction.

With admiration,

-T

About Tyler

Tyler Brenfleck, PE, is an alumnus of the Phi Delta Theta Florida Epsilon Chapter at the University of South Florida. He attended the Kleberg Institute in 2014 to pursue the vice president position at Florida Epsilon. Tyler now serves as lead civil engineer for the design of water infrastructure projects throughout the southeast US, maintaining professional licensure in Florida and Texas. He recently married his college sweetheart, Rosalind, with whom he lives in the Tampa Bay area.

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What does it mean to be a man? What is masculinity? Looking back twenty years ago to starting college, I would share the following thoughts with my younger self.

Am I enough? I know this is a question you’re thinking about often right now, especially now that you are not living at home and are embarking on your college journey. The most important thing I would tell you is that you are enough. One of the ways you might think you are not enough is because you are comparing yourself to other guys, but doing so will not give you any of the answers you seek.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparison is natural and happens every day. You will compare yourself to others on campus, to people on the TV, or to how you think people are describing masculinity. You may not think so right now, but trust me, you should not compare yourself to any ideals of masculinity except your own. You should think about what you believe masculinity means. You are not less of a man just because you focused on school and not sports.

Masculinity is more than being strong, interested in sports, or emotionally and physically strong. When people say “be a man” or “man up,” you may not understand what that means because you are still figuring out who you are as a man. The truth is that there is no one way to be a man, and being comfortable in how you express your masculinity is a journey and not a destination. Masculinity is having healthy relationships with yourself, with family and friends, and being able to share your thoughts and feelings.

When you decide the time is right to join a fraternity and choose Phi Delta Theta, you will face challenges to your perception of masculinity because, like you, every Phi is different. Be willing to learn from your brothers; acknowledge that their experiences and views of masculinity can differ from your own but are equally valid. Being a Phi Delt means you can become the greatest version of yourself, and the trick is to know that becoming the best version of yourself means accepting yourself.

Be willing to learn from your brothers; acknowledge that their experiences and views of masculinity can differ from your own but are equally valid. Being a Phi Delt means you can become the greatest version of yourself, and the trick is to know that becoming the best version of yourself means accepting yourself.

Dr. Jason Richard Fitzer PhD, Chico State ’08

Something you will come to learn as you grow older is that masculinity exists on a spectrum. There is no right or wrong way to be a man, but there are different ways to express your masculinity. Your interests and how you express yourself matter as much as any other guy. I want you to know that ‘being a man’ does not mean you need to be the strongest person, that you can share how you are feeling, and that you get to define what it means to be a man.

Spend time enjoying opportunities and the people around you. An essential part of masculinity is having people around whom you trust and support you. Put yourself in uncomfortable situations, which I know will be challenging, but new experiences will be how you will develop meaningful relationships and learn. Trying new things is difficult, but it will help you find where you feel you belong. Understanding masculinity is not fitting in or being the standout but being where you feel comfortable to share all aspects of yourself.

Contrary to the perception of some, emotions and masculinity go hand in hand. Share your thoughts and feelings. Men not being able to share their emotions, or even have them, is a bad stereotype; don’t lean into it. When you share your thoughts and feelings with others, you can have stronger relationships, which will ultimately help you find the places you belong. So, what does it mean to be a man? There is no one correct answer, but your answer is the one that is right for you.

Lastly, at the end of the day the opinion that matters the most is yours. Take care of yourself! You are a great guy who cares for others, takes the time to get to know people, and always looks to improve things, not less than when you found it.

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Dear College-Aged Me,

Howdy, oh, youthful, slimmer version of myself! I hope this letter finds you amidst the chaotic whirlwind of college life, dodging deadlines and juggling new experiences. Trust me; I remember those days well—the late-night study sessions, the guilt-free massive quantities of questionable dining hall food, and the occasional existential crisis in the middle of a lecture on existentialism (oh, the irony).

But fear not, for I come bearing tidings of wisdom, humor, and maybe even a few embarrassing memories from our shared past (hey, it’s all in good fun, right?). Today, we’re going to chat about two things near and dear to my heart: dealing with adversity and seeking out challenging opportunities. Buckle up because we’re about to embark on a journey of self-discovery and questionable metaphors.

Let’s start with adversity. Ah, yes, the delightful rollercoaster ride of life’s curveballs, plot twists, and occasional face-plants. You see, adversity is like that annoying roommate who never cleans up after themselves—it’s unavoidable, infuriating, and probably going to leave a few stains on your favorite hoodie. But here’s the kicker: adversity is also your greatest teacher, your fiercest motivator, and your most invaluable ally in the battle against mediocrity. Remember when you bombed that geology exam and thought your GPA was about to drop like a rock? But guess what? It wasn’t the end of the world; it was just the beginning of a valuable lesson in resilience, determination, and the art of bouncing back. Seriously, you need to get after it like you will win something if you keep doing it—because you will.

Remember when you bombed that geology exam and thought your GPA was about to drop like a rock? But guess what? It wasn’t the end of the world; it was just the beginning of a valuable lesson in resilience, determination, and the art of bouncing back.

Lt. Col. Henry G. Heren IV, USSF, Ret., UNLV ’99

Now, let’s talk about seeking out challenging opportunities. Picture this: you’re standing at a crossroads, staring at two doors. Door number one is the safe, comfortable route—where you know exactly what to expect and where your biggest challenge is deciding what toppings to get on your pizza (pro tip: always go with Canadian bacon and mushrooms). What will the other door reveal? Well, that’s where the magic happens. It’s scary, uncertain, and filled with opportunities to grow, learn, and become the best version of yourself I know you’re destined to be. Sure, it might feel like you’re embarking on an epic quest armed with only a rusty sword and a map drawn by a particularly unhelpful squirrel, but trust me, it’s worth it. Behind every challenge exists a chance to test your limits, discover new strengths, and maybe even stumble upon a hidden talent or two (who knew you’d enjoy ballroom dance?).

In his book, The Obstacle Is the Way, Ryan Holiday emphasizes the importance of cultivating resilience and moral fortitude by embracing the obstacles in our path as a means for true personal growth and development. Phi Delta Theta provides an environment where members can shoulder additional responsibilities (i.e., ratchet up the discomfort level) and develop qualities by engaging in philanthropic activities, participating in organizational culture (remember, “one man is no man” means in part that we accomplish more together), and embracing ethical leadership roles.

So, my dear college-aged self, embrace adversity like that cheerleader outfit embraced you on the sidelines of those powderpuff football games (GO SIGMA KAPPA!). And when seeking out challenging opportunities, don’t be afraid to kick down a few doors (metaphorically speaking) and dive headfirst into the unknown (remember the metaphorical helmet) because that’s how you become the greatest version of your future self . . . me. Keep dreaming, keep pushing yourself, and above all, keep being unapologetically you. Because trust me, you’re capable of achieving some pretty incredible things.

With a healthy dose of hindsight,
Your Older, Wiser, and Less Gymnastically Inclined Self

Lt. Col. Henry G. Heren IV, USSF, Ret., UNLV ’99

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This project comes at an important time. I have two beautiful and smart daughters. And so, I often think about what I wish I had known when I was younger. I have found that the key to this thought experiment is to avoid conclusory statements such as “Be Good” or “Study Hard.” All of that is true, of course, but not very helpful. The key to unlocking a better life is understanding why these things matter. The letter below is thus full of whys. You should take this list and add your advice for your future family!

Dear Younger Me,

Hello from the future. This letter is from you twenty-five years from now. You’ve always believed in miracles, so take this as a sign. Since I know that you (we) would never heed long-drawn-out advice from an older soul, let’s keep this brief. Here is what I (you) wish I would have known when I was twenty years old:

Life is sometimes hard, unfair, and unpredictable, but no one ever promised us otherwise. We never signed a contract that read: “I life, promise you Corey, that it will be fair and easy.” See that as a challenge. Play chess, not stress with your life. To do this, make sure you plan, make smart decisions, save and invest money, and get a solid education. You will need a strong head on your shoulders to navigate a world ever-increasing in complexity.

Make sure to chase your passion, as this will reveal your calling in life. A calling is one of the reasons that you were placed on Earth; it is what you were born to do. Find five places where your passions and talents collide. That means look for five areas where you absolutely love something —much more than your peers. Then, look for five areas where you are much, much better at something than your peers. Take the list of passions and the list of talents and look for work opportunities where these collide. Be specific here for this to be helpful.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, will give you advice. But only a select few will give you good advice. So, discern who those people are and listen. It’s okay to ignore the rest politely.

Your grades should follow knowledge. You go to school to learn to think like your teachers think, not to memorize stuff. You take chemistry to think logically like a chemist, law to think analytically like a lawyer, history to learn to read like a historian, and writing to learn to write like a famous author. In that vein, never be a transactional student, just seeking the lowest effort for the grade you want. At some point, as you grow older, a transactional worldview will backfire, and you will eventually be the dumbest person in the room. Ask me how I know. Smiles.

Remember that old phrase, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” That is true to an extent but also exhausting. You don’t need to learn everything the hard way. Try to ponder the consequences of your decisions before you make them. Find a few good mentors and take calculated risks. Learning the hard way every time is for amateurs.

Finally, and most importantly, your character matters above all else. Aristotle was right when he proposed that it is impossible for people to flourish if they lack virtue. Think about how true this is in life. Those who lie, cheat, steal, bully, etc. aren’t happy. If you want to be happy, then be good!

The real rabbits in life worth chasing are a sense of contentment and peace in your heart, a few strong friendships with people who would rush into your life when everyone else rushes out, and a solid character. If you are also rich, handsome, and popular, that’s fine too. But please, please don’t chase that at the expense of your happiness because, as the famous saying goes, “You can never get enough of what you don’t need to truly make you happy.”

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Joining Phi Delta Theta will be one of the best decisions you have made in your lifetime. You will continue your service to the Fraternity as an alumni volunteer leader, and your work with chapters across North America will pave a path for your son when he ventures off to college.

Hey Buddy,

I understand you are interested in joining a fraternity. I think this is a really wise choice! Now, I am sure your initial consideration is based on finding a place to party and meet girls. That will happen, but as your fifty-year-old self, I’d like to explain some more important attributes that Phi Delta Theta will afford you.

Life is a culmination of our choices, good for good and bad for bad. The significance of decision-making during college is ten times as relevant as any other phase in life. The Fraternity will instill the Cardinal Principle of Rectitude in you, serving as the needle on your moral compass. During moments of decision-making, your brothers will stand alongside you to guide you in the right direction. In their absence, the teachings of The Bond will steer you toward the optimal path forward.

You will learn more about running a business during your time as chapter president than you will in any class. Finance, event management, risk management, decision-making, organization, time management, alumni relations, university community building, philanthropic devotion, and academia—these are all things you will devote yourself to as a Phi that are far more beneficial than the social aspect of the Fraternity. But don’t underestimate the social grace you will learn as part of Phi Delta Theta. Today, young people spend 50 percent less time outside than we did. They have also suffered in isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic. All this is to say that there has never been a more important time to be part of a fraternal organization. Thanks to all you have learned as a Phi, you’ll be incredibly successful in business. Each day, you will interact with people in the professional world, solidifying your social Rectitude. Many have spent far too much time with their eyes on a small screen. Thank God that Phi Delta Theta brought you away from your phone and into social development for the good of the human race.

What we do at Phi Delta Theta is important. You will come to understand that alcohol impairs decision-making. Things like substance-free housing may seem unfair at the moment, but I promise you this lifestyle adjustment could very well save your life. It is worth it. Everything worth doing requires extended commitment and a bit of discomfort.

What you learn as rush chairman and social chairman will benefit your life as a sales professional. Your time spent as a leader in IFC will help you understand the larger community and how important it is to be inclusive of everyone as you develop as a person and a professional. You will venture to Mother Oxford to meet 1,000 Phis experiencing a similar life journey. This will help you understand the vastness of the Phi Delta Theta network. There are 275,000 living Phis in every industry; one will help you get a job, and many will help you grow your business. Phis are always willing to help other Phis.

About having fun and finding a life partner—that will work out for you, too. You’ll meet a Pi Phi and start a family with her. All that you learned as part of this amazing Fraternity will help you be the greatest husband and father that you can possibly be!

Life gets serious when you get to college. A lot is on the line, and the future is uncertain. But, hey, don’t forget to have fun! College is the most important time in your life, and you should benefit from all the experience it has to offer you.

Joining Phi Delta Theta will be one of the best decisions you have made in your lifetime. You will continue your service to the Fraternity as an alumni volunteer leader, and your work with chapters across North America will pave a path for your son when he ventures off to college.

And so the world evolves, it will seem like things are taking forever to fall perfectly into place, but I assure you, time goes by in a flash. Time is a gift, and how you spend it is extremely important. I am so proud that you dedicated your time to Phi Delta Theta. The world is a better place for it! Go now and change the world for the better—because you can!

Brother David Kovacovich is a graduate of Arizona State University. David served in many offices as an undergraduate, including chapter president and IFC vice president. Brother Kovacovich currently serves as the Omicron Northwest province president and is the lead facilitator of the Shaffer Honors College of Leadership. David was awarded the Oliver J. Samuel Outstanding Province President of the Biennium in 2023. He lives in Silicon Valley with his wife Valerie (Pi Beta Phi), son Sam, and daughter Marley.

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